Deep Thoughts on Family

Well, I was sitting at work yesterday and my dad called to tell me that my brother-in-law's mother had been found dead. My brother-in-law, Nick, is only 23. How do you deal with such news at that age? Well, really, how do you ever deal with that news? I cannot fathom it, nor do I want to. I realize that, in the natural course of things, I will likely one day receive such a phone call, if I'm not the one making it. But I do not anticipate that day. Although Nick and I have never had any "heart-to-hearts," he is my brother-in-law. He is a part of our family, and I love him, and I ache for him.

I know I have put a couple of quotes up from the "Sunscreen Song" in the past. In fact, one of them was yesterday. But he gives two very wonderful pieces of advice about family:
1. Get to know your parents; you never know when they will be gone for good.
2. Be nice to your siblings. They're the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

I have realized that the opportunity I am having to be the one of his four children that is closest to my dad is giving me the chance to get to know my father in a really unique way. I know that there will be a day when I will cherish this opportunity. Not that I don't cherish it now.... But there will be a day when I really understand just how much of a blessing it is to have had this time with him when it has just been the two of us. Similarly, it was a wonderful opportunity to be with just my mom and my cousin and aunt (another mom-and-daughter team) just a couple of months ago. I got to see my mom interact with her own sister and I got to know a side of her that existed long before I was born - that of "sister". As for sibling relationships... I have come to truly cherish those in the past few years. I have come to recognize the wisdom in my dad's desire that we be close to each other as brothers and sisters; that we not allow petty things to drive us apart and not have a relationship with each other. And I am happy to be able to say that we have been successful in that. Yes, even now we still have our disagreements and tiffs. But they are easily mended. And in times like this, when a tragedy occurs, we rally around each other and support the one in need. That is family.

While I have focused on immediate family and how we support each other, the reality is that it isn't just immediate family. Because the pattern is set. It is a chain. A chain that brings in everyone: cousins, aunts, uncles, fifth cousins twice-removed :). Although I now perceive my immediate family to be my parents and my siblings, the truth is that one day I will (I hope) have a family of my own. And then perhaps they would be defined as my "immediate" family. But does that negate my other "immediate" family? I wouldn't think so. So then I would have 2 "immediate" families. Only, really, it's not "families"; it's family. We are all one big immediate family. Because we are connected. The family is the basic unit of society. All of humanity can be broken down into families who are all connected to each other. Which means, in order to fix our societal problems, we need to start in our families... But that is another topic altogether.

I don't know... I guess I have done a lot of rambling. Maybe family has just been on my mind a lot lately, what with the family reunion planning, with my anticipation for getting to WA to be close to my mom and siblings (have to convince my dad to go there too, but again, another topic entirely), and maybe it is the passing of Nick's mother that makes me realize how none of us is promised tomorrow, and that NOW is the time to cherish our families and loved ones. Now is the time to tell them we love them, to mend broken relationships. Now is the time to remember good times with each other and to form new memories. How thankful I am to belong to my family. Not just my mom and dad and Ben, Brad, and Christina. But also to Michelle, Sean, Tony, Royce, Tarylyn, Saria, Samuel, Benjamin, Nick, Desiree. And also Grandma and Grandpa, Aunt Sue and Uncle Ernie, Aunt Hila and Uncle Harrell, El and Ka and and their two boys, the Little E Family, Aunt Nene, Uncle Mark, Jimmy Carl, Ian, and Arthur. And also to Cuchi and Grandpa, Aunt Susie, Tatiana and her family, Gregory, Jenny and Jaina... And the list goes on and gets larger the farther I go back. As we grow and get married, we bring more into the family. They become just as much a part of us (and we of them) as we already were to each other. It is amazing to me. I am in awe of the genius of the family. How grateful I am for my family. For all of them. And how grateful I am to know that we can be a family forever.