Thursday, December 28, 2017

Post-Christmas, Pre-Baby

Well, in the interest of documenting this information like I did with Lynnaea and Corbin, I'll post about where things stand in my pregnancy.  Because I just went back to read theirs and am so grateful I posted it and could find it easier.  I don't know that we plan to have any more babies (on purpose), but just in case, it's nice to have stats for comparison purposes ;).

But first, I'll start with Christmas!

We had a nice Christmas.  It is a little chaotic, and Jeremy and I both tend to be wound a little tight when it comes to chaos.  We're trying to be less so, so that it can be more enjoyable all around.  But overall it was still good.  I just like to try to have controlled chaos (which, as you know, is an oxymoron.  Haha).  Our kiddos are well-loved for sure.  Dinosaurs, poster art kits, books, air spinners, an awesome stool made by their grandpa...  They got lots of really neat stuff that they really enjoy.  I got a ginormous bottle of Mexican vanilla from my in-laws -- and this is very exciting to me!  I also got other great stuff like a book about foodie holidays and a wok and a pretty cheese plate, etc.  And the kids got me and Jeremy a 1000 piece puzzle of TV history.  I'll probably break it out after Baby arrives and Jeremy is off work for a couple weeks.  I do love puzzles.

So here are a few Christmas morning pictures (we also had cinnamon rolls for breakfast).

 Well, I'm awesome...  I only took 3 pictures with my camera and the rest are on my phone.  So there you go:  three pictures from Christmas morning.  I don't want to mess with getting the pictures from my phone to the computer at the moment.  I'm just that lazy ;).

Now, this is a picture of me at 38 weeks, 1 day.  Or 2 days, technically, I guess.  Since it was taken around 2 a.m. Sunday morning (Christmas Eve) while I was up wondering if I would be waking up Jeremy to go to the hospital.  I really didn't want to be in the hospital on Christmas.  But I had contractions that kept me up for 2 hours, so I wasn't sure if they would progress and be the real thing.  They didn't.  They eventually tapered off.  I've noticed the swelling go down a bit in my feet, which is nice.  For a while there I had serious cankles and my feet were so puffy they hurt.  My blood pressure has been good, though, so there weren't big concerns about a toxic pregnancy.  It was just uncomfortable and ugly.
And this next picture is from today at 38 weeks, 6 days.  I've had another night of contractions (the night before last night), and these were more consistent and more painful.  So Tuesday night was another night of wondering if we would end up in the hospital.  The problem is that this is Jeremy's on-call week, so we kind of want to make it through this week before the baby comes.  LOL.  But we'll deal with whatever happens.

So in addition to two nights of contractions, the baby has also dropped.  A lot.  So I know it's just a matter of time.  Ergo, when I went to my doctor appointment today, I asked her to check me so I knew where things stand.  And here's where they stand at 38 weeks + 2 days.  I am about 50% effaced and at a 2/3 (though she said if she had to pick one, she'd pick 3). 
So we're aiming for Sunday, because my doctor is on-call and will deliver and that's Jeremy's last on-call day.  But it'll be what it'll be.  I'm nervous and excited all at once.  If only childbirth wasn't so painful ;)!

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Born That Man No More May Die

The first Sunday of December, the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has a Christmas devotional.  This year, we tuned in from home, now that we've joined the throngs of people with things like Roku sticks.  It was awesome to be able to do that.  If you're interested in hearing the talks (which were amazing), you can follow this link.

The choir, in the beginning of the devotional, sang Hark!  The Herald Angels Sing.  I've heard this song a bazillion times.  I've sung it close to that many times.  Who hasn't?  But, like other things in life, sometimes you'll hear a song you've heard your whole life and suddenly something different stands out.  Something powerful.  And you'll find yourself not able to sing, because of the tears streaming down your face.

That's how it happened for me this year.  The words I used as the title for this post hit me really hard and impacted me greatly.  Perhaps it is because we lost Brad this year.  And that still seems so unreal to say (or type).  I don't go moping through life at the loss of my brother.  But there are moments that blind-side me when the grief washes over me and the pain is fresh.  I miss him terribly, and yes, my heart is still broken that he is not here.  But I know I will see him again. 

That is the power of these words.  Born that man no more may die.  What a beautiful promise.  Especially for those of us who have lost someone we cherish so much.  

But something else also hit me powerfully in that moment.  Again, nothing new to me.  And yet it struck me powerfully in that moment and I saw it differently.  And that is the mission of that little Baby, whose birth we celebrate this season.  Born that man no more may die.  His mission was unique.  And vital.  But the mother in me aches, because I understand that phrase.  How grateful I am that He came.  That He chose to come -- to be born -- that man no more may die.  I don't know what Mary knew or understood about the mission her baby boy was to perform.  I only know, as I sit here, very heavy with child myself, that a mother's love is indescribable.  I don't know if I could handle the magnitude of pain associated with my child being born that man no more may die, considering what that entailed.   

But I am grateful that she was strong enough to teach him; and that He was strong enough to do the will of His Father.  I am grateful for what that means for me.  I am grateful He was born that man no more may die.  I am grateful for that precious little baby boy -- the hope of the world.
(We took a better picture after this, but this one cracks me up ;)).