I am 36 today. Writing that is crazy. Because it doesn't seem possible. 36 is closer to 40 than 30. Ha! And, mentally, I still feel like I should be 22. But I am not. I am 36. And that isn't a bad thing. (Just a weird one!) Oh, the title is from a song that I will always love and which will always be special to me. I can't remember the first time I heard it. But I can remember the first time I heard about it. You can listen to it here. I'm pretty sure that's the first time I've ever watched that video... I'm a little teary-eyed.
Anyway... I've been reflecting a lot on 36 years. The things I wish I'd have done better. The things I'm glad I did. The things I wish I hadn't done at all.
I have had a full -- and blessed -- 36 years. There has been sorrow and pain. There has been fun that I still smile and laugh about now. There has been joy beyond measure. Aren't these the things that make up life, after all?
I think of trips back and forth between Washington and Alabama. I think of working at a funeral home. I think of throwing loud objects in the library at almost closing time. I think of brand new babies in my arms. And little arms that wrap around me and little voices that call me Mommy. I think of 80s games, and 80s movies. I think of quilting in the back of a library. I think of going under a library building, of rats in a library, of Marvelous Monday Meals. I think of rain forest forts, and "island-jumping," lifeguards I crushed on as a 15 year old girl, and being asked out at that same age by a young GI. I think of stickers (the in-the-grass-kind), theme parties, and holding hands with someone I love. These -- and so many more memories -- just make me smile. Some of them even make me laugh. Truly, my 36 years have been blessed.
I do have regrets. I wish I'd have been kinder. I wish I'd always built others up -- especially those I love the most. I wish I would have never caused anyone to feel like less (even if I never did so intentionally, I have come to realize that there were times I did). I wish I'd have apologized easier and loved more. I wish I would have been more humble. I wish I'd have kept my mouth shut sometimes -- and spoken up at others.
And I don't intend this to be a sad, depressing thing. Turning 36 is not that ;). But the thing is, I can improve. I can do all those things I wish I had done. I can't go back and do them then. But I can go forward. And be better. After all...
Every day's a new day.
This Owl - I'm not really sure what this is called, but it is *the coolest*. Whoever invented these things was pure genius. So, as many parents have probably learn...
1 year ago