Storms, School, and Insight

So, do any of you know the heart-wrenching feeling of opening the file called "My resume 2008" only to find that it is the cover letter you wrote the night before??? YIKES. So, I had to re-do my resume on Friday. Luckily I already had printed out the first page of the resume. Technically I'd already printed out the 2nd page (twice), but it had a typo the second time and the first time, the bullets were different. And I had run out of resume paper on Thursday night. Anyway, so the crisis was fixed. And, amidst a lot of stormy (possible tornado producing) weather, I made it to the post office and mailed off my first application for a job in Washington. Woohoo! I spent Friday and Saturday nights forcing myself to do schoolwork. I was pretty successful. I got an amazing amount of sleep this past weekend (which didn't bode well when I needed to go to sleep last night -- I literally tossed and turned for over an hour before finally going to sleep... I guess that's what I get for not waking up until 10:20!!!). We had General Conference at church this past weekend. What an uplifting and edifying weekend. I was given an interesting perspective as I sat listening to the talk by Elder Robert D. Hales on Saturday.

Elder Hales spoke largely on the Savior's prayers to His Father. He spoke of the plea of the Savior as He requested that the cup pass from Him, but nevertheless, that the Father's will be done. He spoke of the angel sent to comfort and strengthen the Savior in His darkest hour. The thoughts of my mind were drawn to the knowledge that I am a child of Heavenly Father. That, when I pray to Him, He is there. When I call out to Him, He answers. He comforts when I am in despair. As I pondered these things, and the reality of them, a specific memory came into my mind. I was ten years old. I had gotten sick, and I had been taken to the doctor. They had prescribed me antibiotics that I was to take for 10 days. Well, those antibiotics were gross. And I felt better after 7 days of taking them. So I asked my mom if I could stop taking them, because I felt better. She allowed me to stop taking them (which she has never done since, since she learned a lesson). I got sick again. This time, my dad took me to the emergency room, because it was after hours. The doctors saw where I had been sick and had been prescribed medication. They asked if I had taken in the prescribed length of time. My dad, not knowing I had not, told them I had. This naturally threw up red flags for the doctor, because they had to know why my body hadn't responded to the treatment. This caused me to have my blood drawn twice. This was very traumatic for me (as I have stated before, I was terrified of needles). I got through the first time. And when they called me back to have my blood drawn again, I was crying a lot. They were holding me down on the bed and I cried out, "Daddy!" And immediately he was there. He leaned over me so I could not see the needle. He held me and whispered lovingly in my ear, "I'm right here, hon. It's okay." Now, he did not stop them from taking my blood. Not because he didn't love me. But because he did (and still does). He knew they had to take my blood to find out what was wrong with me, so that I could get better. But he came to me. He comforted me. He never left my side. And as these thoughts came into my mind during Conference, a new connection was made. These were the actions of my earthly father. He loves me. He would and will do anything for me that he can do. But he will do whatever he has to do so that I can be better; he will do what is best for me, even if I have to endure some pain in the meantime. My Heavenly Father does the same, only to a greater degree. He loves me. He loves me so much that He wants the best for me, even if I have to endure some pain and struggles in order to be better. For that reason, He will not always remove my afflictions or trials, much like my dad did not stop them from taking my blood. But my Heavenly Father will not leave me alone. He did not leave the Savior alone. He sent an angel to the Savior. He will send the Comforter to me. He will tell me it is okay. He will say, "I'm right here, hon." He will see me through all of my trials. And on the other side of the experience, I will be stronger and made better. How grateful I am to have an earthly father who makes comprehending a loving Heavenly Father so easy. I know my Heavenly Father loves me, just as I know my earthly father does. My Heavenly Father loves me even more than my earthly father, not because my earthly father is lacking in love for me, but because he does not have the capacity to love as much as my Heavenly Father. Just like I have access to my dad by calling him on the phone, I have access to Heavenly Father by getting on my knees to pray. And I know He is there. He stands ready to answer us; He stands ready to bless us. All we have to do is ask.

I have been richly blessed in my life. I know that one of my many blessings is an earthly father who loves me. A father whose love I've never had to question. Unlike Heavenly Father, my dad is not perfect. But I know he loves me and would do anything in his power to make me happy, and somehow, that makes all the difference.
I hope you don't mind I shared these insights. They just really touched me. I am thankful to have patterns and examples in mortality that help me understand the things of eternity. "I am a child of God. And He has sent me here. Has given me an earthly home with parents kind and dear..."

And so you know how the hospital story ended... My dad was very upset and worried about me. He called my mom who came to the emergency room with the other 3 kids in tow. She explained that I had not taken the medicine the prescribed number of days, and the "mystery" was solved. Like I said, my mom never again allowed any of us to take the medicine for any lenth of time other than that prescribed. I guess even moms have to learn by experience sometimes ;).