I AM WOMAN!

...Hear me ROAR.

Aside from the many brain-slips I keep having (it's as though I can no longer spell... Although I quickly corrected, I just finished spelling "hear" like this: heare. And that was after I had originally started spelling it: here), I am a strong and independent woman. Okay, so maybe only somewhat independent :). More than I used to be, though.

Since moving here and living on my own, I have learned to:

• Drive the Interstate like a pro (I have to drive on 3 of them just to get back to Dothan)
• Budget money and learn how to live on the cheap (and I do it quite well, I might add) (oh, and I was not wasteful with money before, but living on one income takes effort)
• Be fearless and live alone (which entails killing any yucky bugs that might come, uninvited, into my home)
• Take apart things with the tools my dad told me I needed to have (and he was right)

There are probably others, but those will suffice for now. Last night I took apart the ginormous computer desk that I have (which my dad put together for me when I moved in). I was talking to my dad while I was doing this and made the comment several times, "This is man's work." And I still agree with that. However, I have conquered it :). There are just some things men should do so that women don't have to waste their time with it. So how about that???

So let me tell you a story about having to be fearless as I lived alone. And go ahead and laugh. I do now too. But I was TERRIFIED at the time.

About a month after I'd moved into my apartment, (this would have been the first week or so in December), I was sitting home at about 9:30 at night, watching Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Which I have since learned to NOT watch while I live alone. So all of a sudden, I hear the outer door to my apartment building open and close. I assume it's one of my neighbors. But then I hear a knock on my door. Not just a regular knock, but that "thunk-thunk-thunk-thunk-thunk, thunk-thunk (like a playful type of knock -- too bad I can't verbally explain this so it makes sense). Immediately my heart starts pounding. I mean, it's 9:30 at night and I'm not expecting anyone. This was seriously my worst nightmare. I had already pondered what I would do if this scenario occurred. But until you are actually faced with it, you just don't know. So I walk quickly, but quietly, over to the door and look out the peep hole. The "hallway" is lit there, so I can see clearly. There is NO ONE there. So, that's not a good sign. So I walk back to the couch and get my cell phone to dial in the campus police phone number. Not that I plan on calling them, but just to have it already in there so that if I need to, all I have to do is press "SEND." While I'm doing this, the knock comes again. I turn off the TV and walk again, very quietly, to the door and look out the peep hole. Again, I see no one, but I notice the outside door swinging back shut. I'm telling you, my heart was pounding so hard, so fast, and so LOUDLY that, if I didn't have muscles, bones, and skin holding it in place, it would have jumped out of my chest and onto the floor. All I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears. So at this point, I'm freaked out. Okay, I'm logical. I know the likelihood that it's something menacing is slim to none. Nonetheless, I've only been living here for a month and it takes a while to really get to know your surroundings. I have it narrowed down to three possibilities:

1. It's people from church doing a 'ding and ditch' and they have left something outside my door (this is a practice I know is popular among the crazy Mormons (and I can say that, since I am one), for some reason, but I've never liked it -- even from the side of doing the ding and ditch-- probably for the reasons I was experiencing at this moment)
2. It's a neighbor's friend who has mistakenly knocked on the wrong door
3. Someone knows I live alone, is standing on the side of the door where I can't see them (because there is a stairwell outside of my apartment door and a huge gap a person can stand in where they aren't visible from my peep hole), and wants to harm me. (hey, there's always the crazy option, okay???)

So, I go around the entire apartment and turn off all the lights so I can look out the windows and actually see. I don't see anyone out there. I call my mom (in Washington, like she's going to be able to help from there). I'm freaked out and I tell her so. She tells me that she thinks it's just probably the people from church, but to just not open the doors until the morning. Oh, my dad's a lot closer than my mom (still 4 hours away, though), but I know how he'd worry if he knows this story, so I don't even bother telling it to him until I go home for Christmas, because then it's a thing of the past... Okay, so I not only leave all my doors locked and chained (which is how they always are), I close my bedroom door, put my step ladder in front of it, and then get my hammer out of the set of tools my dad had me buy for myself (the best weapon I have) and sleep with it beside me in the bed. So, warning to anyone who might have wanted to break into my apartment while I'm sleeping: YOU'LL BE SORRY (because I will bludgeon you :) ).

The next morning, I opened my door to find a plate of Christmas goodies waiting patiently for me. Delivered by some of the YSA from church. Those crazy Mormons... I actually told them this story (the ones that had done it) and they felt so bad. I know they weren't trying to scare me to death. And I've never been angry about this. Slightly embarrassed that I over-reacted, yes. But angry, no.

See, I AM WOMAN. I have faced many fears and I have triumphed!!!! Yay me! (Hope you laughed!!!)