On Looking Older

So it occurs to me that I have witnessed a paradox in my lifetime, which at 27 sometimes seems long and sometimes doesn't. Please allow me to illustrate with a story or two:

The Nose-Ring Guy
As a teenager, about 15 years old, I hung out at Los Rios swimming pool a lot. I was an avid swimmer, but also an avid flirter with the lifeguards. (Look, I told you there was a time in my life when I was totally boy crazy). So one Saturday I'd gone to the pool, and by that time I had made friends with all the lifeguards. Hey, there was merit in this... I mainly spoke to them in Spanish, so we can call it educational since I was improving my Spanish skills :). So anyway, I was hanging out in the office there at the swimming pool, chatting away. Now, the way the pool was set up, there was a window at the front of the office through which people coming to swim had to show either their B-badge (this was a green card with our photo on it that said we could swim -- I still have mine) if we were not an adult; or, if you were an adult, you had to show either a military ID or a Panama Canal Commission ID. This was proof that you were allowed to swim there (because the pool was owned by the U.S. Government). Anyway, the PCC pools were free, but the pools on the military bases cost like a buck or two to get in. I don't know why, but whatever. Okay, so I was in the office and this guy comes up to the window to show his ID. The first thing I notice is that this guy has this huge honkin' HOOP nose ring in his nose. I do believe it was the first time I'd ever seen such a thing. I mean, a hoop??? Anyway, so he shows his ID (so I can tell he's a young Army guy) and I buzz him into the men's room (yes, even at 15 I just kind of went to work wherever I was hanging out). So this guy comes out, says hello to all the lifeguards there around the office and goes on and swims. I don't know how much time later it is, but eventually he is ready to leave. So, at this point I'm sitting in the office, still talking away (I do talk a lot) and nose-ring guy stops and starts talking to all my lifeguard friends. He's talking in English, which they all speak that as well as Spanish. He's asking how he could go about getting a part-time job there as a lifeguard and they are telling him (which even at the age of 15, that seemed like a dorky question for him to be asking... I mean, he's a GI for goodness sake). Anyway, they ask him his name, so he says, "David" (only he says it in Spanish). He shakes all their hands and then pokes his head in the office, looks right at me, and says, "Hi, I'm David." And I smile politely and say, "Hi, I'm Hila and I don't work here." So he goes back into the men's room and I go back to visiting. A little while later, he comes out of the men's room through the other door, getting ready to leave (so now he's on the other side of the window where he had to show his ID at first). Well, my friend Rafael was talking to someone through the window at that time. So, David the nose-ring guy just kind of hangs out in the front there for a few minutes, and I'm just standing against the counter. Well, the guy Rafael was talking to leaves, and Rafael goes back to the back door to take up his post again. And David the nose-ring guy walks up to the counter. So I'm wondering what he wants, and since I'm the closest one there to the window, I say, "Can I help you with anything?" (Yeah, because I totally work there...). Okay, maybe I'm an idiot, but I have to say I was completely unprepared for what came out of his mouth. He says to me, "Hey, yeah. I was just wondering if you would like to do something sometime?" Oh my heck! The nose-ring guy just asked me out! I wonder what my expression looked like. Anyway, I am baffled and I am practically tripping over my words as I say, "I'm sorry, I can't. I'm only 15." Okay, so now it's his turn to be shocked. He says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. You looked older." And I said, "Oh, that's okay." So he leaves, and inside, I'm smiling. Not because David the nose-ring guy asked me out. But because I looked older. Woohoo! I looked like a mature woman. (Man, I was an idiot). Okay, so there's that one.

Underage ID Check
So, on another occasion, my mom and I were riding in the van, and I was in the front passenger seat. We were headed onto Albrook AFB to check the APO box. My mom always had her ID at the ready, because she knew it would be checked. The rule was, you check the IDs of all the adults in the car, even though we had a sticker on the car that gave us permission to go on base. Well, so my mom shows hers, and the guy looks over at me. I think he's just going to wave us through. But he does not. He is waiting expectantly to see mine as well. So, I lean forward to get the ID out of my back pocket, and I'm thinking maybe I had a look of annoyance on my face (which wouldn't surpise me), either that or he realizes that I was not expecting to be carded. So he asks, "Do they not usually ask you for it?" And my mom says, "Well, she's 16." So, he looked shocked and said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were 18." Which constitutes adult, and therefore I needed to be carded. Anyway, so I smiled again to myself at the thought of looking older. Yeesh.

So, why is it that when that kind of thing happens to us when we are trying to be grown up (and first of all, why are we trying to do that??? Don't we know anything!?) we are proud and excited about the prospect? And then when it happens to us later in life, when we actually are older, it's not so funny. Perhaps you will recall the story I told you about when I was mistaken for a grandmother when I was all of 25 years old... (if you click the link, just read down to the second paragraph or so). So yeah, a mere 10 years later, and it's not so fun to be mistaken as being older. I can assure you I was not smiling inwardly about being mistaken for Desiree's grandmother. I was actually quite horrified. It's almost like I'm okay with being mistaken for older when older is between ages 18 and 20. But now that I'm well over 20, either assume I'm still 18 or 20, or just pretend I look 27, since I am. It is no longer complimentary to say I look older than I am :). Because that puts me somewhere near 30. (Because I'm already close enough to it). Although I will say that I love Anne for telling me I look like I'm 21!! Yay for Anne! Perhaps she was just saying that. But I'm going to go ahead and believe it :). Why not? I was willing to believe I looked 18 ten years ago :). I also love that my dad looked at that picture of me and Julie at Kristin's from 10 years ago and he asked me (this was just last week) if Julie had had her baby! At first I thought maybe he had heard something I hadn't... like that Julie had gone into premature labor. But as I asked him more questions, I finally realized he was thinking that the the baby in the picture was Julie's baby and not Kristin's! Haha... Which made me feel great, since he obviously thought that was a recent picture of me. I even asked him if he didn't notice how young I looked in that picture (and how old I look now :)).

So anyway, experience has also taught me that desiring to look older (and desiring to be older) was not unique to me in my teenage years. It's also something you can't convince a teenager (or pre-teen, as the case may be) that it is silly to want those things. They won't believe you. I know, because I've tried. And I know, because my dad tried to convince me when I was young. He told me that I have the rest of my life to be a grown-up, so to just enjoy my childhood and not want to rush through it to get to adulthood. Isn't it a shame that we don't figure that out until we are actually in adulthood and it's too late ;)? I think this is evidence that youth really is wasted on the young! :). Eh, but what can you do? So let me just take my grandma-looking self and go do some work :).

Also, look down to right above my playlist... I found a thing that tells me what my name means :). Pretty cool. And, what says you? Is it accurate?