Lessons and Facts From The Nilla Life

At least from the last couple of days. You can pick which are lessons and which are facts :). Or maybe they are all both?

1. The Nilla subconscious is a scary place. The night before last night I had a dream that a pteradactyl was in my neighborhood in Cardenas in Panama. It was hanging from electric lines, and I thought it was dead. Then it moved and started flying at me really low overhead so as to scare me. Because it told me that it couldn't actually eat me, because I was too big to fit in its mouth. Yes, the pteradactyl (an exctint dinosaur bird) talked to me. Anyway, then 2 of my cats showed up. Both of them were calico cats. One was Mittens, who really was my cat about 15 years ago. And the other cat I don't know. It wasn't Callie the work cat, though. Anyway, immediately the pteradactyl spots the cats and flies toward them and eats one. The one I don't know but is somehow mine. So I'm running after Mittens, screaming, "Run Mittens!" After a harrowing experience on my part of trying to get my cat safe and the pteradactyl trying relentlessly to get the cat, the pteradactyl gets sick and throws up cat (gross, I know, but in my dream it wasn't vivid or gross-looking, I just know that's what it was). And so then the pteradactyl is laying on its back and looks gold-colored. And it also looks like Heckyl and Jeckyl. If you have no idea who they are, click here. (And I have no idea the last time I even thought of these cartoon characters, so why they would show up in a dream is beyond me... But then, I can't explain why a pteradactyl is in my dream either.) And my mom, ever the care-taker, wants to nurse the pteradactyl back to health, because we feel sorry for it. So she starts dosing it with root beer. Yes, I said root beer. And then it turns like fire-engine red and starts sweating. Around this time I woke up. I have no idea what this dream was about, much less where it came from. I wonder what Freud would say. I still think my subconscious is a scary -- though amusing -- place.

2. You cannot have your monthly car insurance bill put on your credit card. I was going to just have it billed to my credit card every month so that essentially all I will do is write one check for one bill each month and gain credit card points to boot. So much for that big plan. Oh well.

3. Grocery stores will sell an item on its expiration date (or sell by date) for really cheap. But don't go back the next day and hope to still get it. It will be destroyed, gone, unsellable. With milk, I can see this as valid. With Frosted Flakes, not so much. It's not that I don't understand why they won't sell it (I mean, that's a lawsuit just waiting to happen for our sue-happy society), but something tells me that Frosted Flakes are still going to be non-deadly the day after their sell-by date. Furthermore, the way I see it is that if you are "dumb" enough to buy Frosted Flakes the day after their "sell by" date, and then you eat them, then, if they make you sick, you deserved it and shouldn't be suing the company who sold them. But anyway. I'm not complaining, just pontificating. I would have bought a couple of boxes for 50 cents each -- even a day after their sell-by date. And I would have eaten them. Which is why I felt like I could put "dumb" up there, because I would so be in that category. For Frosted Flakes. Not for milk. But it's a moot point, because I passed up the deal on the "sell-by" date (which was Thursday), and when I went back on Friday, they were gone, and the ones in their place were over $2 a box. Not a good deal in my book.

4. I talk with my hands. And not in the sign language-y useful and cool way. I've mentioned this before. But I noticed yesterday that I do it more when I'm nervous. Which is probably the least opportune time to do it more. But oh well. That's me for you...

5. Read faster. I only had 100 pages left in Ender's Game. I was sure I'd be able to re-check it. But there were holds. Half of me wanted to just keep it overdue. But that's not very librarian of me, so I didn't. And now who knows when I'll get to finish it. Which messes me all up, because I don't like to start another book before I finish the one I'm reading.

6. Make sure you look around the kitchen at work and ensure that there are, in fact, no paper plates, before you put your cheese chunks you just cut up into a plastic cup and have Mary laugh at you for your "newly invented fast food item" (available now at all fast-food establishments...): the cup of cheese.

7. Working with someone (or multiple someones) who leave a skid-mark on the back of the toilet seat (and who will hereafter be referred to as Mr. Skid) is disgusting. Mary and I always seem to be the fortunate ones who walk into the restroom after Mr. Skid has vacated at some unknown prior time. Today Mr. Skid struck again. And so we had to clean it up. Gross. When Mary and I determined (based on when these things occur and who is here when they do) that there are very likely two Mr. Skids, Mary so eloquently said, "You mean they are pulling double duty!?!" And then we rolled with laughter. She said doodie!!! Hahahaha!!! (Okay, we're a little bit juvenile...)

8. Do not have the cup of cheese mentioned in item 6 sitting out on the reception desk in anticipation of you eating it for lunch after you return from performing the duties unfortunately associated with item 7, because you will keep smelling the cheese (not realizing it is the cheese) and thinking maybe -- by some horrible unspeakable possibility -- something got on your hands from the above-menitoned Mr. Skid "present" -- even though you doubled up the Clorox wipes and only used 2 fingers to hold the Clorox wipe against the seat and, well, wipe away the nasty and you washed thoroughly after the clean-up was done -- and that is what you are smelling. But it turns out it's just the cheese -- which doesn't make you all that keen on eating the cheese, but you have to put something in your stomach for lunch, right?

There were probably others. Probably others that were more deep and less silly. But I was feeling light, airy, and silly. Thought I'd pass the feeling along for anyone needing a laugh :).