Love Defined

So, in pondering over some of my blog posts and other thoughts I've had, I find that I often come to the subject of love. In a society where love is portrayed more by lust than by actual love, I wonder how many realize the counterfeit they are being sold. Love is such a beautiful thing. I have been loved throughout my life. There are so many different types of love. Like the love my parents have for me. Or the love I have for my siblings. Or the love I have for my nieces and nephews. Or the love I have for my friends. Or the love one has for a spouse. Or the love spoken of in John 3:16.

Interestingly enough, Stefanie and I were discussing love the other day. I'm not even sure how the conversation turned that way. Somehow we discussed one-night stands and how low a person's self-esteem must be to do that. I pondered out loud if it isn't that these people identify love with lust, as though the two are interchangeable. It is sad, really, to mistake one for the other. By mistaking lust for love, a person misses out on so much. Love, real and true love, lasts forever. It does not fade with the aging of the body. In fact, I would guess the opposite becomes true. I would guess that, as two people (obviously I have begun to focus on married love) create a life together and grow together, the love they experienced on their wedding day only becomes deeper. Because it's easy to love someone when everything is like a fairy tale. But when real life happens; when trials come and difficulties come, that's when you really learn about loving the other person. My Institute teacher said one time that real love is something newly-weds don't really understand. That even he, who has been married for over 25 years, doesn't fully understand it. He described a couple, quite an elderly couple. The wife was very frail and weak and spent most of her days in a hospital bed at home. But on the day Pres. Archibald went to visit them, the wife wanted to get out of bed and sit in a chair to visit. The husband helped her -- a feat that took something like 20 minutes -- to get out of her bed and walk the short distance to the chair. He never rushed her, never pushed her, never got annoyed with the time it took for her to do it. But he stayed beside her, slow step for slow step, holding her up until she made her way to the chair. Pres. Archibald described it, saying he felt as though he was witnessing something intimate in those moments; a level of love even he had yet to understand. I think about Pres. Hinckley and Sis. Hinckley. They emanated love for each other, even after 60-something years. I remember one time, after she had passed away, Pres. Hinckley talked of her, telling about their life together. He talked of when they met and how Marjorie had been the girl of his dreams. And as he began to talk of the present, he spoke of how she was, once again (now that she had gone before him), the girl of his dreams. I guess it was significant to me that he used the word "girl." To him, she was every bit as beautiful as the day he married her, I believe. And, oh, I don't know... This song just popped into my mind.

Anyway, I'm not saying there isn't love in large gestures. But I think it's also in the small ones. Think of the O. Henry story, The Gift of the Magi. Love isn't lust. And lust most assuredly isn't love. Love is something you just know and can't describe. At least, that's what I think. And so, I want to see if anyone will offer their thoughts... What are unique ways you show love? Not the things like candy on Valentine's Day. But the little everyday things that you do because you love someone -- whether that person realizes you do it or not. Because love is selfless. And when you love someone, you really do things to show it that you wouldn't otherwise do. So, if you don't mind sharing, please tell me some of yours ;). Or even some of the ones the people who love you do for you. And these can be serious or funny, by the way.

So, here is love defined, Nilla-style :). And I'll add yours as you give them to me.

Love is...

• giving the other person the bowl that looks like it has more ice cream
• letting the other person win
  
• a phone call to share a forgotten memory, because you know they'll laugh too
• Jon plugs in and charges my cell phone for me every night.
  
  When we both worked, he would always find my keys and crank up my car every morning. Which was so great when it was cold cause he would turn the heat on full blast, so it would be warm for me.
  
  When I make dinner, I always fix Jon's plate and bring it to him. (These from Juliebean)
• Kissing her and telling her I love her before I leave for work every morning. Even if she's not awake enough to remember it.
  
  Make sure to remind her every day of how beautiful she is. (These are Heath's)
• sacrifice.
  controlling my anger.
  not saying yes to everything even though it's easier. (children)
  knowing we have forever.
  not feeling overwhelmed or burdened at the thought of waking up to the same face every day. (These are Elka's)