Monday, October 26, 2015

The Trials We are Not Called to Endure

I think too much sometimes.  Usually when I should be sleeping, and I'm lying awake in bed, knowing I need to sleep, but unable to do so.

Lately, my mind has turned to the subject of trials.  The trials we are called upon to endure.  And those we are not.  And why.

We live in a fallen world.  There is sadness and pain, difficulties and challenges.  The fact that we will all face trials remains.  And so we will all, at some point or another; to one degree or another, experience the sadness and pain, the difficulties and challenges.  But will also know joy.  And growth.  Learning.  Hope. 

But why the trials which we each individually face?  What is it about our particular trials that are so important for us to go through.  That is the thought I'd considered often as of late. 

I look at my own trials.  Those I've faced so far.  They have been hard.  Some I would even describe as excruciating and heart-breaking. 

I look at the trials others face and think I could not endure what they have been asked to endure. 

And I wonder:  why were they called to endure it, while I was not? 

I know it is because whatever I am to learn will come through the trials I have been and will be called upon to endure.  But some trials I've not been given -- which have been given to another -- well, honestly, it breaks my heart for them to have to endure it.  And perhaps others feel the same as they look upon me and my trials.

I have heard a quote that says something to the effect of:  If we all put our trials into a bag and had to pick out new ones... If we saw the trials others had to face, we'd be anxious to pick our own back out.  It is an interesting thought.  And I think, perhaps, it is because -- though we may not realize it -- we've already been equipped to deal with the trials and challenges we are given.  Our trials are uniquely ours, and the lessons we will gain will be so too.

Now, none of this is to say that we must do it alone.  I firmly believe in a Savior.  I believe He performed the Atonement for me.  I believe he knows how I feel.  And I believe He will help me through any trial.  In fact, I know it.  For I have felt it.  I heard a song for the first time recently.  The Primary children at church sang it as part of their Primary Program this past Sunday.  It is what one of my friends calls a "goosebump" song.  I have come to identify that feeling with the Spirit testifying to me of truth.  The song applies here.  It's beautiful, and you can listen to it here.

Anyway, those are just random (and quite badly written) musings of a tired mommy brain.

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