Time is a funny thing. In some ways, this past month has seemed interminable. The sleepless nights will do that to you! In other ways, the past month has gone so quickly. I see you every day and don't notice how you're growing, but looking back at your newborn pictures, I can certainly see how you've grown! And how you've developed. You smile now. And you're awake so much more these days.
I can't say it's all been roses. It's been a challenge for me to be a mommy to 2 who are so young. But we have managed to muddle through. Thankfully, Daddy was home for 4 weeks to help with everything. And we're starting to find our groove. But the nights are still hard for me. Mostly because I can't sleep whenever you do during the day :). Your big sister needs my love and attention too, and she's awake during the day. So sometimes I feel zombie-like. But I know these days will end. And, on some level, I will miss them.
And so I can honestly say that I love that we are sleeping together in the recliner these days (actually, they're nights). I feel like it's some of our best snuggle time -- and something I didn't really do with Lynnaea (we didn't have a recliner then...). I know I regretted not enjoying the snuggle phase with Lynnaea as much and so I have tried to really relish that with you. There really is something wonderful about having you snuggled up on my chest sleeping.
You are pretty serious about your food, Mr. Corbin. You eat every two hours, pretty much like clockwork. It's amazing. You can also scream with the best of them... You let us know when we aren't coming fast enough for your liking. And when I'm home alone with both you and Lynnaea, often I can't come as fast as either of us would like. And boy do you ever give me the what-for! It's like you know how much I hate hearing my baby cry, even when it has to happen for a couple of minutes.
We've had some ups and downs with things like nursing. You weren't the best latcher initially. Which meant I got some owies. And we had to stop nursing for a while. But we persevered through that, and we are now a successful nursing team! There were many days I wanted to give up, but having reached this point, I'm glad that I didn't. It's some time that is just for you and me, and I think that's really nice and important.
You love bath-time. The first two baths we gave you, you weren't such a fan. But ever since then, you've liked the bath! Which is totally awesome. You sit there as content as can be until the bath is over (at which point Lynnaea is usually trying to splash you, and then you're done!). You have been smiling for a couple of weeks, but the smiles are getting better and better as you learn more and more how to control yourself. And you hold your head up really well -- you have since birth! We attribute it to your large size at birth. Daddy says maybe you should have been born a week earlier ;).
I love you Corbin. I don't have the same amount of one-on-one time to give you as I did your sister. And I often feel guilty about that. But I love you. And I hope you'll always know that. It is different to parent a second child. My attention is divided and things I want to do (like write your 1-month blog post letter) get pushed back and back and back until the day is almost done. But I will do my best to give you as much as I can. I will fail at times. I am only human. But I will try. I will try to just sit and hold you and look into your eyes when that's what you need most. I will smile as you smile at me, because those are beautiful wonderful moments. And I will hold you close when you just need some snuggles. Because you are my boy. And I'm so grateful you are.
Love Always,
Mommy
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