Growing Hands

I have really been slacking on this blog.  Over two months since my last post.  It's crazy to think I used to blog almost daily. 

Of course, I've been slacking on lots of things lately. 

Because I've been busy growing hands.  Hahaha.  (I got that phrase from a gal who said she told her husband that after he'd asked what she'd done all day while she was pregnant with their first kiddo.)

Tomorrow I'll be 11 weeks pregnant.  We heard a great heartbeat at 8.5 weeks.  My next appointment is in a week. 

I am beyond exhausted this go around (which probably shouldn't be surprising, since I am having a geriatric pregnancy).  That's really only kind of funny.  Ha. Ha.  That is really what the medical world calls a pregnancy for anyone over 35.  But I think it sounds like an oxymoron.  And, thankfully, my doctor prefers to use the phrase maternally mature pregnancy.  I think I prefer it too. 

Anyway, the point is, I'm a lot more tired this time around, and have had several days of just feeling yuck.  And chasing a 2 year old and a 4 year old around is a whole load of work in and of itself, so growing these hands (and feet and ears, etc) is definitely adding to the whole exhaustion thing. 

But it's all good.  If all goes well, we'll welcome Baby around January 5. 

And now I can wait another two months to blog again ;).

Pineapple and Mangoes

With a post title like that, I could be talking about my awesome THRIVE Life fruits!  Haha.  But I'm not. 

Reading hasn't been as much of a priority lately.  I want it to be.  But it just isn't.  There are so many other things on my plate.  However, I am managing to get a little reading in here and there, and currently I am reading a book by Sheri Dew called No One Can Take Your Place.  And I'm loving it.  I particularly enjoyed the chapter I was reading today, because it was about one of my favorite couples:  Gordon and Marjorie Hinckley.  And, though I had already recognized the special woman Marjorie Pay Hinckley was (is), I came to see it even more after reading a quote of hers from this book. 

You see...  I'm a bit of a past-dweller.  I am always looking back and grieving the loss of what was.  It's a terrible thing, really, because it robs me of the opportunity to enjoy what is.  And what is yet to come. 

I'm working on it.  Because my life is a gift.  Yes, there are things I wish were the way they were instead of the way they are.  But I really can't do anything about that, so I need to just let it go and move forward.  Enjoy the blessings of today, because they are plenty and amazing.  Life is an adventure, each and every day.

So the quote from the book that got me...  It was Marjorie Hinckley's response to her daughter, who had recently moved to Hawaii and was missing the cherries in her parents' backyard.  Marjorie told her daughter, "Don't grieve over the cherries.  Enjoy the pineapple and mangoes."

Such a wonderful life lesson summed up in a statement that, superficially, is about fruit. 

Because, yes, the cherries -- I'm sure -- were wonderful.  But they aren't the only wonderful fruit.  And I may have cherries again in the future, but there will come a day when the mangoes and pineapple aren't at my fingertips.  So I need to enjoy them while I can.

And so I shall try...

Here's one thing that's been keeping me super-busy (or should I say TWO, since I'm working on two at the same time...  It seems I never just make one I-Spy Quilt ;)).

And here are my pineapple and mango ;)...  Actually, when I really step back and see how much my babies have grown, I know.  I know intellectually that the time is short.  When I feel Corbin's little toddler arms around my neck as he gives me one of his sweetest hugs (after going to the store without him and then returning home ;)), I realize that there will come a time when I will forget what those little toddler arms feel like around my neck hugging me so tight.  In fact, I've already forgotten what Lynnaea's felt like back then. 

Beaching It

Well, this is already 3 or so weeks old.  But in the interest of putting something on this blog, I figured I'd briefly say that our little family went to the beach at the end of February for a wedding.  Weather here has been wonky this year, and that weekend in February, it was downright Spring-like.  So the beaches were populated like it was Spring Break-ish time. 

So anyway, this was the first trip to a Florida beach for everyone in my family but me. White sands, blue water, and sunshine.  It really was a beautiful day.  And we got to see a beautiful bride get married (even if it doesn't seem right that that 3 year old little girl I used to spin around in the air was there saying I Do to the love of her life...).

Corbin loved the sand.  Lynnaea hated the way the wave knocked her over.  And we all enjoyed the experience overall :).  And I took a picture with my bestie.  It doesn't seem so long ago that we were the brides...  But that day, she was the mother of the bride.  Again:  how did that happen!?!  But it did.  Time marches on.  Thank goodness for the memories :).

 I especially love how my kids are making almost the exact same face in that picture above.  Cracks me up every time I see it!

Chasing Dreams

November 2008.  
I should be in bed. But isn't that how every great story begins?


Not when your kids will wake you up before 7 in the morning ;)...

Life is...  life.  Things happen.  And they change you.  For better or for worse, they change you.  And I guess you (or, rather, I) determine whether it is for better or for worse.

I have decided to start chasing my dreams a little more fervently.

I am writing again.

And though it may not ever be what I dream it could be...  I'm writing.  I'm smiling at the memories my fingers are putting into words on a screen.  And I am preserving something for the future.  And that's what matters. 

Be Still

1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;

With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend

Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake

To guide the future as he has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know

His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on

When we shall be forever with the Lord,

When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,

Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,

All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

There have been times in my life when Heavenly Father has let me know He is "there" and aware of me in very special ways.  Back in 2010, I documented one such instance.  It remains one of my most precious memories, because I knew He was communicating with me in a special way that day.  Today I will document another so I never forget.

Today, our church bulletin indicated that we would be singing "Have I Done Any Good?" as our closing song for Sacrament Meeting. But what we actually sang for closing is posted above. I don't know why it got changed, who changed it, or when.  But I know what that song is for me.

I don't believe in coincidence.  But I do believe in a loving Father and a Savior who love me.  And They love you, too.

So,
Be still, my soul: ...
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Humble and Kind

I've had four weeks to contemplate what I wanted to say.  And this song kept popping into my mind.  Because when I thought over my 35 years with my younger brother Brad, those are words that stood out to me to describe who he is.  Humble and kind.  Without guile.  Chooses joy.  Hopes.  Keeps trying.  Forgiving.  Non-judgemental.  Funny.

The reality is that, though I was the older sibling (by a mere 13 months), he has always been my example.  And I will spend the rest of my life learning from his 35 years.  I cannot claim to understand why this happened; why it was God's will.  I just have to trust that I will understand in time or in eternity. 

Brad was my first best friend.  And he remains one of my best friends.  Forever.  And my heart breaks to know that -- for the rest of my mortal life -- I can't pick up a phone to text him something silly like "coy!" or "Sucky Judge Reinhold".  I don't quite know what to do with that.  He understood my humor, and I understood his.  After all, we grew up together and we did everything together for so many years. 

I'm so grateful he is my brother.  So grateful, beyond words, that I am one of the few who can claim him as such.  He wasn't perfect, but he was (and is) amazing.  Losing him now leaves me with sorrow and regret over things I could have done better. 

Like the time, when I was in Tuscaloosa, he and I got in a fight over the phone because I (in all my at-the-time-childless-wisdom) criticized some of his parenting.  In anger, I hung up on him and went to Institute class.  Where I proceeded to feel incredibly guilty for how I'd behaved and for the things I'd said.  I planned to go home and call him after class to apologize.  But he called me first to apologize.  Even though, really, he hadn't been in the wrong.  He was like that.  He was always the first to say sorry. 

He lived in the present and hoped for the future.  It is why he fought so hard against the cancer that finally took his life last night.  He didn't spend a lot of time looking back at what was, but instead, with faith and hope, looked to the future to what would be.  Oh how I can learn from that.  For that is one of my greatest weaknesses.

Brad was selfless.  Brad never had much of material things, but he would give anything he could.  In one way or another, he was always giving.  Usually it was his time or just opening his home.  Which may not sound like much.  But when I first moved to Washington and had no job and no friends, Brad told me to come over to his house any time I wanted.  And he meant it.  How grateful I am for the time we spent together. 

I could say so much more about my beloved brother.  Though my heart is breaking and the pain is raw, I still know that he continues to live, and I will see him again one day.  And when I do, I will throw my arms around him and hug him tight.  I know he is now whole and far from the reaches of cancer and the pain that it caused.  And I know, because of what our Savior did for us, Brad will be resurrected one day and he will be perfect.  Until then, there will be a void in my life.  I know this.  I will miss him.  I already do.  But I know Brad is not that far away.  And I know my Savior will help me carry the burden of grief and loss.  For surely He has "borne [my] grief and carried [my] sorrows" already. 

God be with you 'til we meet again, Brad.  I love you more than words can say.

So Behind

Sometimes you get so behind on blogging, you just shrug your shoulders and think eh, oh well!  The thing is, I want to blog about day-to-day things, because it's like a journal.  But I also want to blog about my thoughts sometimes.  Just because I like to let the thoughts flow out of my fingertips in the form of words.  It's therapeutic.  But I also want to sit down and read a good book.  And I want to...  About a million other things.  And there just isn't enough time in the day.  So I'm trying to commit to writing at least once a month here, on Sundays.  Which means it will probably always be the day-to-day (or should I say week-to-week) adventures of my little family.  And that's okay :).

So, one of the things I have yet to post is Halloween pictures.  So I'll get around to that today -- a whole month late.

 I decided to be Rainbow Brite.  Lynnaea wanted to be Rainbow Fish (she came up with the idea all by herself!  And Jeremy made it happen ;)).  And Corbin was a hatless Smurf.  I would have loved to put a hat on him, but he would never have tolerated it...  But it was cute enough.  And easy enough.  So that's what matters :).

 I found an authentic 1980s Rainbow Brite ribbon in my mom's old sewing stuff right after we moved here!  I kept it....  I mean, how cool is this find!?!

 Above is my little Rainbow Fish.  She is so precious.  And below are Corbin and I.  We went to our friends The Mitchells' house and trick-or-treated with them.  I'm thinking we may just do trunk or treat next year.  Same results with a lot less hassle!  I'm such an old fuddy duddy.

The following week we did a lot of the usual stuff:  play dates, library story time, etc.  We made a turkey craft.  I put a thankful tree on the wall and we've been adding leaves to it with something we were grateful for that day.  Lynnaea walked around outside with a pot on her head.  Silly goose.  Oh, and did I mention she wore a "dress-up" princess dress every day for about 2 weeks?  Unless we left the house, she was wearing one!  So thankful for kind friends who give us stuff like that when their kids outgrow it!  Because my girl LOVES them!

And then, since the Peanut Festival was in town, we went to the pre-school day!  Which I thought was going to be much smaller than it was.  Haha.  But it was free.  And cured me of my desire to pay to go back.  My main reason for going back would have been for fair food (since they didn't have concessions open during the pre-school thing).  But I couldn't see spending $20 to go back just to spend more money to eat.  Yep, old fuddy duddy.

And then I voted.  And watched Facebook blow up with hatred.  That was really a sad thing, honestly.  I'm thankful that's mostly past.

That weekend was the Peanut Festival Parade!  For the first time, I went and stayed for the whole thing.  It's mighty convenient that my dad lives right there a block off Main Street. We parked at his house and walked over to the parade.  The kids had fun.  The cement mixer that dropped out a bunch of peanuts in the middle of the road was definitely cool!  But we also really enjoyed the marching bands -- and, of course, my princess enjoyed all the princesses!  We took the double stroller so Lynnaea and Corbin had a convenient place to sit -- and it was shaded!

Then came the week of a double ear infection for Corbin (see previous post).  That was awful.  My poor little man.  Thankfully he is all better now! 

Somewhere along the way, I managed to snap some napping pictures.  Aren't these babies so sweet?  To see Corbin laying so angelic-like in his sleep you would never the boy is really hell on wheels.  LOL.  Oh, but he is the cutest little thing.  But just wait until I get to the selfie-stick story...  You'll understand what I mean.

We went to the Gaucho Farms Sustainable Farm Day with some friends...  It was fun.  But I was a little disappointed that I paid $15 for one picture...  Here's the picture.  Originally she said she always sends one initially and then you can work out a deal for the rest, but she usually just sends them all if you request it.  So I'm thinking she would send all 5 pictures eventually and it would be a great deal for the 5 minutes she spent taking our picture...  Alas, not so much.  Her email informed me that it would be an additional $15 per picture.  Well, you win some, you lose some.  I'm not planning to do business with her again, so there you go.  But at least Lynnaea had fun holding a baby chick (and Corbin had fun trying to strangle it...) and we got a picture ;).  Plus we did lots of other fun stuff!  Hayride, boardwalk, see turkeys and cows and chickens, sample stuff, zip-line, climb on hay bales.  It was good stuff.  Corbin wasn't interested in a picture at the end, though.

On Tuesday of this past week, we went to the library at our usual time, even though there wasn't story time...  Well it just so happened Russell the Hedgehog was out of his tank, and Lynnaea got to hold him and Corbin got to touch him!  I have pictures of Corbin touching him (and cheesing), but it's such a hassle to get photos from my phone to the blog that I'm just leaving it with this picture):

She was so excited to get to hold him all by herself!

That night, Jeremy figured out how to make the selfie-stick I bought (hoping to use it for my THRIVE business stuff eventually) work with my phone.  I didn't even try...  I am sure I would have eventually figured it out, but I ain't got time for that.  So I let him do it ;).  This is a dorky picture, but I post it for a good reason:  it's the only decent picture (of 4 total) I got using the selfie stick.

Because the next day I set it on the table so we could take it with us when we went to Georgia to visit family for Thanksgiving (thinking we might want to do a group picture while there)...  And Corbin found it.  And since Corbin's first instinct when he puts his hands on anything new is to see if he can break it...  We'll just say he found out the answer was yes.  He broke the bracket that's supposed to hold the phone in place right off the whole thing.  Ugh.  At least, since I always wait to buy stuff until it's not really cool and hip anymore, I got it really cheap.

So we drove to Georgia Wednesday evening when Jeremy got off work.  2.5 hours one way, and I didn't want to do it twice in one day with kids.  So we went over Wednesday and spent the night at my dad's cousin's house.  My dad went too.  We enjoyed visiting with everyone and had a delicious Thanksgiving dinner before heading home.  Got to see one of my 2nd cousins that I grew up with in Panama.  We both have kids the exact same age, just flip-flopped (he had a girl first).  So we snapped a quick picture before we left.  Also, my Aunt (she's really my cousin, but we've always called her aunt) Janie rented a humongous bouncy house for the kids.  And Jeremy.  It was a hit!

LOL...  He and I both look so tired in this picture. 

Anyway, we got home about 8:30 on Thursday.  The joy of having a potty-trained child is that they always have to pee at the most inopportune moments during a road trip... Like when you're on the back-roads of Georgia without a store in sight.  Sigh.  But we made it without accidents!  Woohoo!  Lynnaea rocks.

And last night we watched our Thanksgiving tradition show a couple days late :).  Gotta love some B.C. Thanksgiving!  I'm excited that Lynnaea is getting old enough to find it funny :).  Because I think it's hilarious!

And I'm calling this good!  I'm sure there are plenty of details that I missed.  Plenty of funny moments that haven't been documented... 

Oh!  But I did find out something exciting!  So for the last 3 months, THRIVE Life has had a contest for anyone who wants to participate.  Basically you create a new recipe using at least one of the items in the monthly specials.  Naturally, because I love my THRIVE and I love experimenting and trying new things in the kitchen, I decided to try it out!  I submitted a recipe for Cauliflower Tots.  And I won!!!  It was so awesome!  I won the 3 ingredients from November's specials that I used in the recipe (cauliflower, scrambled egg mix, and Chef's Choice seasoning blend) plus some freeze dried cookie dough bites!  Which is really exciting for me :).  Anyway, they posted a video on their facebook page and everything -- and granted, they totally mispronounced my name...  But that's just to be expected.  I still am really excited about winning :).  If you want to check out the recipe, you can do so here.

So yep, that's that!