Pre-Thanksgiving

I name this post thusly only because we are a mere 4 days away from Thanksgiving.  In a way, I think it hints that I may write a blog called Post-Thanksgiving...  I wouldn't hold my breath.  I'm batting about zero in my blogging lately.  It still cracks me up that I used to blog almost daily and now I'm lucky if I blog once a month!

Ah well.  Life does have its priorities.  Mine have just changed over the years.

Jeremy just finished outage.  Good gravy that was a long 5 weeks.  6 days a week on 12 hour shifts.  I was starting to feel like a single parent.  And it gave me such appreciated and admiration for those women who ARE single parents.  It's no joke how much work it is to raise littles.  I often take for granted the help that Jeremy brings to the table at the end of the day.  I sometimes don't realize just how much his presence helps our home and family run more smoothly, just because he's here to help take up some of the effort.  So it's probably good for me to have opportunities to be reminded.

Last night he and I went on a date.  We don't go on many dates, but I wanted us to squeeze in at least one more before this little girl arrives.  and time is running short.  7 more weeks until my due date, but I have already started having Braxton Hicks contractions (thankfully only one day so far).  Though I'm definitely tired and feeling quite beached-whale-like and ready to be done with pregnancy, I am not so done that I want my baby to come before she is fully ready to come.  So I'm hoping to avoid any further contractions until after the 37 week mark, when lungs are fully developed, etc.  But anyway, back to our date...  We took the kids to my parents' house where they had fun playing with cousins.  Corbin has been pretty clingy with me lately, so I am always hesitant to leave him.  But, though he had a couple of meltdowns, they said overall he did great.  My sweet little guy.  Jeremy and I went to Olive Garden for their never-ending pasta bowl (but I don't have a lot of room in my body for food these days, though you will see a picture which will make that statement seem like a lie!), so my never-ending pretty much ended after the first plate.  I did have a little of a second type, but then passed it to Jeremy (who also helped me finish the first plate).  We left with our tummies full.  And we headed to the movie theatre to see WONDER.  Jeremy is not a big movie person, so I rarely ask him to watch a movie with me at all, much less in a theatre.  But this one I kind of felt like he would like, and I really wanted to see it after I read the book and found out they were making a movie.  The book, as is typical, was better than the movie, but the movie was awesome.  Which should tell you what I think about the book.  I did my share of crying, though.  Such a heart-felt and touching movie (and book).  It is one I would recommend.  And I was right about Jeremy liking it.

In other news, since my last post, I have gotten another year older (hello, 37!) and had a blast hanging out with Julie and April in Birmingham.  I got a milkshake up there at this place called K&J's Elegant pastries that probably should have put me in a sugar coma -- and which did nothing for my waistline.  Haha.  But it was for my birthday, so I figured it was all good.  The kids had their own ice cream cones (which you'll see pictured below).

We went to the Peanut Festival, sort of.  We went on Pre-K day, so it was free.  No rides or concessions, though.  Just the educational stuff.  The kids don't know any better, so they didn't care.  They had fun.  We wanted to go as a family in the evening and let the kids experience the fair, but then Jeremy got called into work and that plan got dashed.  So we'll just do it next year when he's sure to be off during fair time.  Plus I won't be hugely preggo then, so maybe it'll be more enjoyable for me!

We also went to the parade.  It's nice that my dad lives a block off Main Street, so we can enjoy watching the parade.  I love the marching bands.  But I think I could do with about 1/3 of the pageant winners.  I always forget just how many pageants they have here until I watch the parade and see float after float of waving princesses.

So that's a very brief overview of the last month.  Now here's a few pictures.  We'll start with the big beached whale one and move onto better ones ;).  Okay, actually, that picture is the last in this group.  And I'd forgotten that we had Halloween in there too.  So here are our Halloween pictures this year.  Lynnaea wanted to be a spider.  She wore black shoes for trunk or treat, but it happened to be the same day as dance class (where she was allowed to wear her costume), so she used her ballet shoes and then changed.  Corbin was my dinosaur.  I was a magic 8 ball, because I had to do something with this gigantic stomach ;).  We only did trunk or treat and said Halloween was done.  Other than doing the Hila-ween party on my birthday, but I didn't actually snap pictures of that.

And the rest:

 Julie made me a delicious mint chocolate birthday cake.  Because I think mint and chocolate is the perfect combination.

 Corbin had blue monster ice cream in B'ham.  Lynnaea had strawberry.  In the future, I'm avoiding this much food coloring for Corbin.  I think he has a sensitivity to it, and it's not really great for our bodies anyway.

 These were at Pre-K day at the Peanut Festival.  Christina and Connor joined us.  They loved being on the tractor, and then being a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 

 And here they are collecting the peanuts that were poured from the cement truck during the parade.  I love the happiness on Lynnaea's face here.

 Above is me and the kids at Aplin Farms.  We went there to pick out our pumpkin and just check out the farm animals. 

 The kids loved visiting the library while the monster was up over the book drop.  This was another dance day.  They also loved that their grandma was the one who made this monster.

 The days have gotten so much nicer, and some days we would just go out front and draw with chalk.  The kids love it.

 Again at Aplin Farms.  Same trip as above, but for whatever reason, this one loaded way down here.  Just my cute little pumpkins.

And this is at the Pre-K day at the Peanut Festival.  It was a picture taken by one of the HIPPY ladies, which is why Christina and Connor are kind of off to the side.  That was a hot day.  Blah.  I'm so glad the cooler weather has arrived and seems like it's here to stay.  For a little while at least.

When [I've So Far] Had [36] Years to Live

I am 36 today.  Writing that is crazy.  Because it doesn't seem possible.  36 is closer to 40 than 30.  Ha!  And, mentally, I still feel like I should be 22.  But I am not.  I am 36.  And that isn't a bad thing. (Just a weird one!)  Oh, the title is from a song that I will always love and which will always be special to me.  I can't remember the first time I heard it.  But I can remember the first time I heard about it.  You can listen to it here.  I'm pretty sure that's the first time I've ever watched that video...  I'm a little teary-eyed.

Anyway...  I've been reflecting a lot on 36 years.  The things I wish I'd have done better.  The things I'm glad I did.  The things I wish I hadn't done at all. 

I have had a full -- and blessed -- 36 years.  There has been sorrow and pain.  There has been fun that I still smile and laugh about now.  There has been joy beyond measure.  Aren't these the things that make up life, after all? 

I think of trips back and forth between Washington and Alabama.  I think of working at a funeral home.  I think of throwing loud objects in the library at almost closing time.  I think of brand new babies in my arms.  And little arms that wrap around me and little voices that call me Mommy.  I think of 80s games, and 80s movies.  I think of quilting in the back of a library.  I think of going under a library building, of rats in a library, of Marvelous Monday Meals.  I think of rain forest forts, and "island-jumping," lifeguards I crushed on as a 15 year old girl, and being asked out at that same age by a young GI.  I think of stickers (the in-the-grass-kind), theme parties, and holding hands with someone I love.  These -- and so many more memories -- just make me smile.  Some of them even make me laugh.  Truly, my 36 years have been blessed.

I do have regrets.  I wish I'd have been kinder.  I wish I'd always built others up -- especially those I love the most.  I wish I would have never caused anyone to feel like less (even if I never did so intentionally, I have come to realize that there were times I did).  I wish I'd have apologized easier and loved more.  I wish I would have been more humble.  I wish I'd have kept my mouth shut sometimes -- and spoken up at others.

And I don't intend this to be a sad, depressing thing.  Turning 36 is not that ;).  But the thing is, I can improve.  I can do all those things I wish I had done.  I can't go back and do them then.  But I can go forward.  And be better.  After all...

Every day's a new day.

Corbin: 1 Year Old

Dearest Corbin,

Oh sweet boy...  I'm late posting this, but that's partially because it took us 3 days to finish your 1st birthday celebration!  You had a fever all day on your birthday, and you were just so miserable.  Then, the next day, you spiked a fever in the afternoon.  But I had already baked and decorated the cake, so we sang to you anyway.  And you ate a piece.  But you were still pretty miserable.  So we waited on the presents.  Until Friday.  Since Daddy got home at 8 p.m. on Thursday (boo!).

You learned a lot over the last month of your "babyhood" (though you were technically a toddler already).  You learned how to get off of the bed the correct way.  You learned how to give Mommy kisses!  (I think that's the sweetest, too ;)).  You started running a little.  And climbing more (ack!).  We know you understand what we are saying, because your reactions give you away.  You are capable of being the most obstinate little stinker in the world.  But you're also able to show off your sweet side too.  The verdict is that you have your mommy's number.  Sigh.

You are a charmer!  You play peek-a-boo, sometimes with your hands, and it's so adorable!  People ooh and aah over how cute you are with your dimples and your cheesy grin.  And, truly, you are adorable.

Much like your mama, you don't like the heat.  Which makes Alabama summers a true joy indeed!  You love to play and run and be free...  You just don't like how hot you get.  And you get hot and sweaty pretty much immediately.

You still only have 6 teeth, but I am suspicious that there are more on the way.  But you do awesome work with the chompers you have.  You really enjoy strawberries and raspberries.  You love yogurt raisins and macaroni and cheese.  You're not a fan of Brussels sprouts (but who is?), and you are usually willing to try just about anything edible.  And anything not edible too.

You are very, very ticklish.  It is so funny to hear you laugh when you get tickled.  You like music -- or anything with a beat -- and you love to "dance" that "up-down" dance that is common to your age.  Again:  ADORABLE!

It's not all roses, Corbin.  We have some very hard days.  Usually they are the days you are extra-clingy and extra whiney.  The days when you throw one of your "I'm mad, so I'm going to cry until I can't breathe and pass out" fits.  Oh, those are such hard days.  But there are many good days, and even more good moments (even in the hard days).  And I love you, Corbin.  Each night, as I hold you while you fall asleep, I am thankful for those quiet moments.  Recently, I realized how I don't really hold your sister that way anymore.  So I did it one day, and I saw how big she has gotten.  And I realize in those moments how brief this time is.  There will come a day you will be as big as she is -- and she'll be even bigger.  The days are coming when you won't want me to hold you -- you won't reach your chubby little arms into the air for me to pick you up.  The days are coming, I know too well.  Because I've seen them go with your big sister.  And so, I will work harder to cherish each moment.  With you and with her.  Because I love you.  And I love her.  With all my heart.  Always.

Happy One Year, my big boy.  Thank you for being mine.

Love Always,

Mommy

 This sad face was what he looked like for most of his birthday.

 But I did get a couple smiles from him when he was feeling a bit better.

 The day after his birthday, when we actually sang to him and ate cake.  He still wasn't feeling the greatest, poor little guy.

 But by Friday, he was back to his happy (and mischievous!) self!  Love that grin!

 So we opened his presents :).

 And on Saturday, he got a big boy hair cut!

3...It's The Magic Number

I'm a little behind on posting this (shocking, right?), but Lynnaea turned 3 last week :).  And in honor of that, I made this a song title post!  You know, since I haven't done one of these in forty forevers...  Or at least it feels that way.  This song was one of our favorites back in my 1995 MTV watching days. 

So my girl is 3.  Most days, when I really sit and reflect on it, it is hard for me to believe she is the same itty-bitty baby we brought home from the hospital.  The same chubby little toddler who was always happy.  She is tall and beautiful.  Smart and funny.  Inquisitive, adventurous, bubbly and full of life.  She is part "tom-boy" and part princess.  I can see her wittiness coming out, and I love it.

She is definitely independent.  She wants things her way.  And she lets you know her opinions when they aren't.  So, we've definitely had some battles of wills.  But she is still the sweetest girl.  She has a tender heart.  Sometimes, when I lay down next to her at night and sing I am a Child of God, she offers me her other spitty (her little comfort things that were her burp rags when she was a baby).  It may seem like the silliest thing to have my heart melt over, but it's not.  Because, honestly?  That spitty rag is the best thing she has to offer, and she offers it to me.  And I hold it.  I love this girl more than words can say.  We have some hard moments.  We have some hard days.  But I love her fiercely.  And I always will.

 Happy 3, my beautiful smart girl.  You are a joy and a light to me every single day.

Corbin: a Baby Story

I wrote a post like this shortly after Lynnaea was born.  I am grateful I wrote it, for it is the only place I recorded all the details of her birth.  Well, maybe not all the details.  Some were a little graphic for my personal comfort level of posting online for the world to see ;).  But the majority.

So I knew I wanted to record Corbin's birth that way too.  And who knows...  Maybe I'll feel more comfortable sharing some of the less "pretty" details about my experiences with childbirth.  We shall see as I write how I feel...  But the point is, I want to have these stories recorded.  They are for me -- and they are for my children.  Their birth days are monumental events.

So here is Corbin's birth day story.

The truth is, we really anticipated Corbin's arrival literally any day during the week before he was actually born.  I had experienced some false labor with him the previous weekend (May 30 and 31).  Both times, the contractions I experienced only lasted about 1 1/2 to 2 hours and they were rather mild.  But I figured this was a "sign" he would come any day.  So we vamped up the prepping and got the hospital bags mostly packed and Lynnaea's little "adventure" bag ready for when she was either dropped off at my friend Lea's or when Lea came here to watch her -- whichever ended up happening.

But each day ticked by, and there was no more sign of labor.  Other than the progress shown at the doctor's office, of course.  My body was continuing to prepare.  But I was not really feeling anything different.  I felt enormous.  But I'd been feeling that way for a while ;).  I was so convinced this little guy wasn't coming early after all, that we sent a message to someone we give a ride to church saying "Well, I know we said last week that we may be unavailable to take you to church due to the possible arrival of the baby...  But at this point, we aren't expecting to deliver a baby in the next 24 hours, so if you would like a ride to church, just let us know!"

Apparently that's the kind of thing you say when you want to hurry a process along ;).

I woke up at 4:55 a.m. on Sunday, June 7, and I was in labor.  In fact, I'd been in labor for a short while already -- and I knew that because I had been incorporating my contractions into my dream.  At this point, the only part of the dream I remember was being at my church building in Panama and having a contraction and knowing the baby was coming.  So I am guesstimating my labor started between 4:00 and 4:30 a.m. on June 7.  I got up and went pee.  Laid back down.  Couldn't sleep anymore and wasn't really timing my contractions but was figuring they were around 4 minutes apart.  They were painful, but not unbearably so (even for a wimp like myself!).  So I lay there thinking for a bit.  But then I decided I may as well get up and get moving; because I felt like this was going to happen for sure.  So I came out to the living room.  And started working on Corbin's baby book.  Haha.  It has been a personal goal for me to keep a baby book (filled out, mind you) for each of my children.  I did a great job with Lynnaea's up until she was 1.  And I've kept up with some things in it since then.  But I only just ordered the pictures for her 1 year birthday!  And she just turned 2...  So there you go.  And with Corbin's, I had the baby shower stuff to put in, etc.  So I sat there working on that for about 1/2 an hour.  But then the pain was really increasing (though the frequency of contractions was not), so I decided to wake Jeremy.

Now, I was hungry.  But I was only drinking water.  Because when I was in labor with Lynnaea, I vomited all night long.  That was a miserable experience, so I was trying to see if we could avoid that this time.  But I was hungry and thinking about the energy I would expend over the next several hours.  I went and woke Jeremy up at 6:15 a.m. to let him know I was in labor and that the contractions were coming (officially, now, per the clock) every 4 minutes apart and were intensifying.  It was time for him to help me finish getting ready.  So up he got and then Lynnaea got up, because she'd heard us talking.  She was particularly clingy -- I'm sure she sensed change in the air.  She wanted me to hold her a lot.  So I was stopping frequently to pick up my toddler while having contractions.  That was interesting.

I called the hospital to let them know we were coming.  Then I got in the shower.  I did that with Lynnaea as well.  Knowing what's coming, I have this urgent desire to be as clean as possible.  Hahaha.  I got dressed and even tempted fate concerning the whole vomiting thing by wearing the same top I wore to the hospital with Lynnaea.  Oh, and Jeremy made me incredibly sweet chocolate milk so I'd have some instant energy from the sugar but not have to eat anything that might "press" the vomit button.  It was disgustingly sweet -- even for this sweet-craving lady.  I texted Lea to see if we could drop Lynnaea off within the hour (it was around 6:45 a.m. by this point).  I even managed to snap a picture -- the last preggo picture with Corbin on the inside.

Someone said I looked way too relaxed to be about to go to the hospital in that picture.  Well, I think right after that picture, I was leaning on a table through a contraction.  The contractions had definitely intensified to the painful point.  But we were ready.  Jeremy pulled the van out front and loaded everything -- including a bucket! -- into the van.  The bucket was in anticipation of the vomit, just FYI ;).  Then he got Lynnaea loaded and I s-l-o-w-l-y made my way to the van and s-l-o-w-l-y managed to haul myself into the passenger seat.

We got to Lea's, and she was waiting for us.  Lynnaea did amazingly well with the drop-off!  I was so nervous that she would be clingy and cry.  But she didn't.  I had a contraction that hit hard while we were doing the drop-off, so I was leaning against the car.  Lea later told me she could tell I was in pain -- that I was so sweaty, etc.  And I was.  I was sweating like crazy.  We had the a/c on in the car (naturally this little guy chose the hottest weekend to arrive ;)) and it was cranked up and blowing right on me.  We got back on the freeway and I called our moms to tell them.  Not because we wanted anyone there (I'm not inclined to have anyone waiting at the hospital, especially not in the delivery room), but because last time no one knew.  Ha!  So we at least told them.  Contractions were still about 3 to 4 minutes apart.

We arrived at the hospital (so far vomit-free!) and I s-l-o-w-l-y made my way in to registration.  They got me straight back to triage (it was about 7:45) and the nurse named Julie told me if I want an epidural I needed to do that right away or I'd have to wait a bit, as the anesthesiologist was prepping to go into a c-section and wouldn't be available for an hour at least.  I decided this meant I was just going to have to grin and bear the pain, since I again wanted to try to go as far naturally as I possibly could.  After all, I hadn't even been checked.  So I gowned up amid the pain and got on the bed.  The nurse had previously said, when I first walked in, "So you've been through this before.  Do you think this is real labor?"  I assured her I was convinced it was!  After I laid on the bed, she was talking about a gal that had been sent home the night before who was dilated to a 5 because there was no other progress (like contractions).  I said, "Oh, please don't send me home.  This hurts a lot."  Haha.  She said, "Oh no, you're not going home.  I can see pain written all over your face.  You're in labor.  The girl last night wasn't. But she'll probably be back in today sometime."  Well, then she checked me.  She said she was pretty sure I was dilated to an 8/9 (!!!!) but wanted a second opinion, because she wasn't sure if that was my cervix or not because it was so paper thin (which would mean I was 100% effaced) and she wanted a second opinion.  So she called in another nurse. The charge nurse.  She checked me.  She agreed with the first assessment, but wanted the on-call doctor's opinion as well, just to be sure, because again, they couldn't believe how thin the cervix was that they couldn't even feel the "lip" of it.  So they apologized to me (to which I said that if they wanted to give me that kind of good news about my progress and it took 3 people to get it to me, I was fine with it!).  The on-call doctor came in and checked me.  And yep, that's where I was!  Holy cow!  I could only have dreamed of it being that way.  I knew the odds were in my favor that this would go quickly, especially without the epidural, with me coming in this advanced in labor.  I am in no way saying this was all fun and easy, of course.  I was hurting a lot by this point and telling myself (and Jeremy) that I just needed to relax and breathe through the pain... 

Anyway, so they got the IV in me and moved me in a wheelchair to the delivery room we'd be using.  I don't remember every detail as I was wheeled down the hallway, but I remember one nurse informing the triage nurse that they'd called my doctor and she was on her way in.  The phone call to my doctor was made at 8:23 a.m. and she lives about half an hour away.  So they got me into the bed and started running saline into the IV.  Time is funny.  The next 30 minutes both took forever and flew by.  I'm not sure how that's possible, but it is.  I was starting to feel urges to push (but only mildly, so I don't know if this was the power of suggestion or if that's just how things start).  My amniotic sac was still intact, though.  They checked me once I told them I was starting to want to push and I guess I was fully dilated, because the comment was that the only thing keeping me pregnant was that the water hadn't broken yet.  News also came that my doctor was moments from pulling into the parking lot.  And while another doctor was standing by to deliver if it came down to it, they were trying to hold out for my doctor to get in there and deliver.  I remember her coming in the room (I still had my glasses on for a while there).  I remember her breaking the sac (this was uncomfortable) and the comment that it wasn't a lot of liquid that rushed out.  I remember pushing for what seemed like another eternity. 

Now, previous to all of this starting -- while we were driving in -- I told Jeremy, "I don't want to scream, but I might."  I don't know why, but I have never wanted to draw attention to myself during labor.  And I've heard about screaming and moaning and even roaring during labor.  I remember apologizing a lot during this process.  Because, though I never did scream... and I certainly didn't roar...  I did whine a lot about the pain.  Haha.  So during my break between contractions and pushing, I'd apologize for being so whiney. 

Jeremy, meanwhile, was blowing on my face to keep me cooled off.  I was soooo hot.  Sweating a ton.  I can remember some sweat rolling down the left side of my face at one point.  Shortly thereafter, someone asked if I wanted my glasses on or off, because I was fogging them up.  I told them I didn't care -- so someone took them off.  I really didn't care.  I had my eyes closed the entire almost-hour I was pushing.

I also remember them telling me how awesome my blood pressure and pulse readings were.  They said it was like I was running a marathon.  In my mind, I was thinking of a witty thing to say to Jeremy about how clearly my diet (which includes things like pop-tarts and ice cream and sugar cereals) is a phenomenal one.  And then Jeremy beside me pretty much vocalized my thoughts and said, "It must be all those pop-tarts."  Hahaha.  It was funny -- and mentally I could acknowledge it (I was even thinking the same basic thing!), but still all I could do physically was say to him shhhhh and shake my head.  I was not really in the laughing mood.  It's funny now, though. I honestly can't remember if this all happened during the pushing part or right before.

I remember having people help me with the pushing part.  I had a nurse helping me lean up and "hug" my legs to my chest and curl around my tummy (as they described it) during my contractions.  I don't know why, because now I can clearly picture what they were wanting me to do, but at the time, I just couldn't do exactly as they wanted.  There were people reminding me to breathe certain ways or to not breathe during pushing.  People telling me to bear down when pushing (and describing how to push -- which, if you're wondering, is described as taking the biggest poop of your life). 

Which leads me to my other thoughts during the labor and delivery process:  there is nothing glamorous about childbirth!  I'm not saying it's not a beautiful amazing wonderful thing.  Just that it's not glamorous.  The amazing thing is that you don't even care so much at that point.  You don't even care, really, how many people are in that room while you're on display and whining ;).  In fact, I found out the next day that I had no idea about several people (hospital staff) that had been in the room (this because I kept my eyes closed). 

Oh and here's another thing I kept saying while I was pushing:  This is never going to end!  I'm never going to get this kid out!  Seriously, I kept saying that.  And, in the moment, I really felt that too.  It took me a while to get the groove of pushing.  It's indescribable, really, but I had to actually figure out how to push correctly and effectively.  And once I did, my goal was to push like that every time, because I could actually tell that I was making progress, even if it still felt like I'd never push the kiddo out.

So somewhere along in these moments, his head crowned.  And I ran out of contraction and push.  Well, let me tell you that that was intensely painful.  It's true what they say, you do "forget."  I'm only 5 days out from all of this and though I remember quite clearly that it hurt like you-know-what...  I actually can't remember the actual pain.  But I know this was the infamous "ring of fire" feeling.  And now I know why it's called that.  I'm just sorry I had to sit at that point and wait for another contraction so I could push again.  Oh yeah, and Corbin would keep moving in between contractions, which hurt sooo bad.  I was frustrated at the time, because it meant there was no relief from the pain.  It felt like more contraction, but wasn't -- so I couldn't push. 

Anyway, somewhere along there they told me to push and then to stop.  Turn out the cord was wrapped quite tightly around little man's neck.  And then I was told to push again.  And oh my gosh, if I could describe it, I would.  But I have never known relief such as that in all my days.  He was out and on me in the same moment.  But I can remember the relief.  It was so amazing.  Jeremy announced we had a boy!  He was wiped off while laying on me for a bit and then moved over to the machine for all his stats and also to get a little oxygen since he wasn't screaming at that point.  He was squeaking a bit, but they like to hear the loud crying.  And that didn't take long for him to do.  So he was wrapped up and returned to my arms.  He was born at 9:58 a.m.  My total labor/delivery time was about 5.5 hours.

But meanwhile, I had to deliver the placenta.  I can remember the feeling of contractions coming on and knowing I had to push again to get that placenta out.  I was actually dreading it, because I was so done.  But then it was like two small pushes and I felt it fall out of me.  Which sounds so gross, I know.  But seriously...  With no pain meds whatsoever, I felt everything.

Somewhere around this point, I realized my doctor had at some time gowned up (when my eyes were closed ;)).  I also found out just how big my baby boy is.  I found out just what I had pushed out!  The nursery nurse was guessing at 9 pounds 2 ounces.  He was 9 pounds 6.6 ounces.  BIG BOY!  And apparently, that story circulated:  about the gal who came in nearly fully dilated and with no time for an epidural who gave birth to a 9 1/2 pound baby.  Because every time I'd have a new nurse come in my room for the duration of our hospital stay, they'd say something like, "Oh you're the one who pushed out the big boy with no time for an epidural!"


True, he is a big boy.  He doesn't fit in any newborn stuff.  But he's still so small!

His little feet were so purple for so long it seemed!  But they say that's normal.  It just looked weird to me.  But then, I didn't see Lynnaea much at first because she had enough struggles post-delivery that she went to the nursery for a few hours.  Not so with Corbin.

Which brings us to the story of how he got his name.  So once we knew for sure he was a boy, we knew we didn't have a name picked anymore.  You know, since Justin Timberlake just named his kid Silas (and that was our planned-on name since we were expecting Lynnaea!)...  So Jeremy didn't want to stick with that name anymore and now we had to come up with a new one!  So there we were, discussing this post-delivery and I mentioned how Jeremy and I never agree on names.  He wants Xerxes now!  Haha.  And the nursery nurse perked up in her corner where she was doing whatever she was doing and said, "You know what name I like that I have only ever seen once in all my years of working with the babies?  Corbin."

And that's how it came to pass.  Jeremy liked it and the uniqueness of it (if she's only seen it once with all the babies she's seen!) and I like the name (cuz it ain't Xerxes! ;)).  And so we stuck with our original middle name choice, though we also started considering Daniel.  But he is Corbin Nathaniel, and I think that is a nice name :).  And I really like that nursery nurse named Denise.  She was amazing.

Somewhere else along in here I started shaking a lot, so they got me all covered up with warm blankets.  They say it's normal because my hormones will be all over the place.  It's funny, though, because I was so hot and sweaty during labor and delivery and then afterwards I was piled under warmed blankets.  Haha.

Jeremy stayed most of the day with me.  He napped when Corbin slept and I tried to nap.  But seriously, my mind could not shut off, even though I was so exhausted!  I kept reliving the whole labor and delivery process and my stress level just shot up like crazy.  Haha...  I guess you could say I was a little traumatized ;).  The day actually passed really quickly.  Unlike with my delivery with Lynnaea, I was completely mobile right away.  I'm not saying moving was pleasant.  Quite the contrary.  It hurt to move.  My inner leg joints are still sore.  And I did tear a little, so I have stitches.  So it took a lot of effort to move myself.  Even so, I wanted to feel more human.  So after I had eaten breakfast and lunch, I asked if I could get a shower and they said I could.  Yay!  Which worked well, since they moved us to another room after that. 

Jeremy left to get Lynnaea around 6:30.  She'd been with my friend Lea all day.  And, thankfully, as we checked in with Lea, all had gone well. Lynnaea was a champ and didn't cry.  She is an amazing little girl.   And Lea is an amazing friend.  I'm so grateful beyond words we could have a place for Lynnaea where she feels comfortable and happy.  A place where we feel she is loved and cared for as we would care for her.  It's amazing what matters when you have your whole heart wrapped up in another human being (and now 2!).  We decided we wanted life to be as normal as possible for Lynnaea, so Jeremy went home with her so she could sleep in a familiar environment.  It meant I was alone to face the first night with a newborn.  And it meant I only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep.  But hey...  No better time to be re-introduced to the lack of sleep that accompanies newborn parenting, right!?!

So Jeremy came to get me around lunchtime the next day when they discharged us.  And Lynnaea met her baby brother for the first time (I was worried she would cry and be upset if he brought her up there Sunday and then I didn't go with them when they left, so we just opted not to bring her until Monday when I would go home).

She made herself totally comfortable watching TV in the hospital room and eating snackies while Jeremy and I got everything ready to leave. 

And I actually remembered to get a "going home" shot of Corbin (I forgot that detail with Lynnaea). 

And actually, this was all so much easier than the first time.  My recovery has been phenomenal.  I am still sore in the areas where I pushed out almost 10 pounds of baby.  That's to be expected.  But I have felt good and have been out most of the days since Corbin was born (choosing to go out and do stuff so I don't feel the same level of depression I did post-Lynnaea).  But with Lynnaea, I had that bad epidural and had spinal headaches for a week afterward -- which meant I had excruciating head pain unless I was laying flat on my back!

So I was home by 2:00 Monday afternoon and we just have been settling in to our new life.  Jeremy is off of work for 4 weeks (he had tons of sick leave to burn), and he's been amazingly helpful.  There is lots of adjustment going on for sure.  For all of us.  But it's going well.  I'm not getting much sleep and we're struggling with breast-feeding again (Corbin isn't a great latcher, so we are currently taking a break from nursing and I'm pumping) but we were more prepared for things this time around, so it's less emotionally traumatic for me.  I'll probably detail more stuff later, since this is his baby story :).  I just wanted to get this documented for posterity's sake :).

So here we are, a family of four:

Still A-Round

That's right.  A play on words.  Because I'm still around.  And still a round mommy.  I am waiting to pop.  Doctor's appointment Tuesday showed even more progress:  almost 3 cm dilated and 90% effaced.  I still scheduled my next appointment for this coming Tuesday (which will be 40 weeks).  Here I was Tuesday at 39 weeks.  Pajama pants and a t-shirt.  So very classy.  I promise I didn't go out of the house looking like that ;).

Jeremy has been on swing shift this week.  It has been wonderful to have him home in the mornings.  He has helped me be able to either a:) get things done when I feel like it (like today) by entertaining Lynnaea, or b:) sit around like a bump on a log and rest when I feel like it (like yesterday) by entertaining Lynnaea ;).  And then we take a "family nap" where we all 3 (plus one in my tummy) pile into our bed after lunch.  Jeremy usually gets about 45 minutes to an hour of sleep before having to get up for work.  Lynnaea and I can get around 2 hours.  It's pretty awesome.

We are still having night-time troubles with Lynnaea.  Well, the last two nights she slept through the night and it was so amazingly blissful.  It feels good to be rested.  We are just taking it a day at a time and trying to figure out what's going on that she has gone from an amazing sleeper to an unpredictable one.  Many of my friends say they've been through this stage, so I'm hoping that is all it is.  Parenthood truly is an adventure! 

So here are a few more pictures of the cuteness in the new recliner and whatever else I choose to post (don' know yet what I'm posting ;)).  Lynnaea loves what I have dubbed the "big rock-rock chair" and she frequently commandeers it as her own ;).

She is the cutest!

No feet in view...  That's my large tummy from my perspective.  I had just finished washing dishes.  My shirt is always soaked in the front.  If I did twitter, I'd type it like this:  #pregnantgirlproblems.  But I don't Twitter or tweet.  So I won't ;).

This girl loves books!  And I love that she does.  She goes and picks books off her bookshelf or out of her library bag, and then sits and "reads" them.  The ones we read more often, like Big Girl Panties, she can actually accurately say some of the story.  It's awesome.

Here she is opening some presents from my parents (yes Dad, Mom still puts "and grandpa" on everything :)).  She got a really cool puzzle that makes 6 different animal pictures.  It's a little over her head and she mostly just likes to build towers using the cubes...  But still.  It's awesome, and she'll grow into it.

She also got a bunch of animal magnets.  These days our refrigerator is covered in magnets.  And I kind of love that :).

So we enjoyed several days of nice comfortable weather.  In the 60s.  It was a beautiful thing.  I did a bunch of baking and freezing to prep for summer time (when I refuse to bake).  Also, my sausage feet returned to normal non-sausage feet.  It was another beautiful thing!  Sigh...  But I'm pretty sure those were the last of our nice comfy chilly days.  Today the highs were probably in the upper 70s (maybe even 80s) and my feet are starting to swell again.  Plus I was on them more today ;).  And this weekend is going to be in the 80s.  Part of me is hoping to have the baby on the hot days because then I'll be in the air-conditioned hospital :).  Hahaha.  We'll be hooking up our a/c here soon, I am pretty darn sure.  I'm not pleasant when I'm uncomfortably hot and sweating. 

Yesterday I took Sam out for birthday ice cream.  I can't believe he is 11.

And okay, that's definitely a yucky picture of me, but I don't care.  It's just how it is.  I'm a fat preggo lady.  And I'm almost done!  Woohoo! 

So hopefully the next time I post, it will be with news about whether we have a boy or girl popping out :)!

My 2 Year Old

My baby girl is 2.  She turned 2 on Sunday.  As usual, I am behind.  But, better late than never!

We didn't do anything big for her birthday.  It was just me and Jeremy and Lynnaea.  We went to church in the morning.  We took a nap right afterward.  And then we let her open presents and decorate her own cupcakes.  She loved that.  Especially after Jeremy showed her that the stuff squirting out of the frosting cans was not only edible, but loaded with sugar. 

She was one happy little girl.  And she totally blew out the candles before I could get a picture of her doing it.  She already knows what to do with candles!  So I mostly just want to post pictures of her birthday.  But I also want to say a couple things about my precious girl. 

She is so tender-hearted.  And she is already a nurturer.  When she thinks Jeremy or I are upset or not feeling well (like when Jeremy has his eyes closed and looks like he's sleeping during church), she will come over to us and lay her head on us somewhere and rub our back.  She did it to me the other day when I was in serious pain from pulling a muscle and started crying because I felt like a terrible mother to her at that moment.  She did it to Jeremy this past Sunday at church.  He told me afterward -- asked if I'd seen how she'd gone over and snuggled him.  I had.  I know it made him all gooey inside to have her go over and "nurture" him.  She will give kisses to any and all "owies."  Including her own ;). 

She loves to help.  Whether it's to help Jeremy make bread (and maybe this is because she likes to dig her fingers into the bread dough and eat it?) or to run to the potty and lift the lid every time I say "Mommy needs to go pee pee" (which, let's face it folks, is around 10 to 15 times a day these days) or to help turn on the dryer or washer or hand me clothes to fold...  Or getting my glasses and phone off my night-stand every morning (obviously she has learned my routine ;)).  And, most recently, to help unfasten her diapers (!)...  She just wants to help.  It has been such a joy to watch her grow and learn and be able to help.  And she is always so excited when she does.  I love her.

She is so smart.  I know that sounds so braggy.  I'm not saying she's a genius.  But I think she is smart.  She can count to 12 now and say most of her alphabet (sometimes she needs a little help).  She can identify a lot of her letters.  And her vocabulary is growing so fast!  I can't even list all the words she knows -- and she'll probably know more tomorrow!  She is quite observant.  Today, as we were out running errands, she kept asking about airplanes.  When the weather is nice here, as it was today, we often hear airplanes more.  Well, I kept telling her I didn't know if there were any airplanes in the sky at that moment (at least where we are).  But then, she actually spotted one!  And pointed it out to me!  And it was quite a ways off, too.

She knows lots of animals and the sounds they make.

She still loves to have books read to her.  We read every night.

We got her some flamingo footie pajamas that aren't fleece.  And are size 3T so she can grow into them (but she still wears them now ;)).

We also got her a play-doh "baking" set.  She got some home-made play-doh from her grandma and so I figured she'd have fun cutting out shapes, etc.

I got her a couple books a while back.  This one has a "magic pen" that will buzz (when you get it wrong) or make a happy beepy sound when you get it right.  It's to help her learn her colors and shapes better.  She likes pressing the pen to everything.  I love her facial expression in this picture.

We changed her clothes and laid out a tarp and brown paper for the cupcake decorating.  She actually got a little mini bear cake.  Here is where Jeremy was showing her how to squeeze out the frosting.  A few moments later, she learned it was edible and sweet.  And then she started just scraping the frosting off her cake and eating it ;).

Annoying that that came in sideways, but whatever.  I just put her name and "2" on the cupcakes.  Then we sang to her.

Not sure why, but she acted shy when we sang to her.  It was pretty cute, honestly.  She would smile and giggle and cover her little face a bit. 

Here was right after she blew out the candles.  I just wasn't fast enough to catch her mid-blow!

Yep, there she is eating frosting ;).

And here I am with my girl.  She really is a joy.  And so happy!  We are having some rough nights lately.  I think it may be due to her 2-year molars coming in (I discovered that 2 have erupted on Sunday night).  She wakes up crying and wants one of us in her room before she'll go back to sleep.  But she is still a happy girl.  She teaches me so much.  And, though I can remember what life was like before her, I can't imagine life now without her.  She is a miracle and a blessing beyond measure.  She is my joy.  How grateful I am to be her mommy.  I often feel inadequate.  But I am so grateful she is mine.

And, in other news...  Baby still hanging in there.  Went to the doctor today, but opted out of getting checked.  If I'm still pregnant on Tuesday (at 39 weeks) when I go for my next appointment, I'll go ahead and get checked just to see if there's been more progress.  In the mean-time, here's my 38-week shot:

And here's another of me and Lynnaea from today (she loves taking pictures):

This picture was right before afternoon nap.  For both of us.  Don't I look like I need one ;)?

And here are my sausage feet.  Seriously.  They are ugly.  This picture doesn't do it justice.  My blood pressure is awesome, though.  I think it's just the extra weight, the me constantly on my feet, and now the ridiculous heat.  BLAH!  They feel like ugly sausage feet as well as look it!  I don't hate being pregnant, but I will be happy to get my body back soon :).  (Go ahead and remind me I said that on the sleepless nights ;)).  I mentioned it to the doctor today and she said it's just a normal thing at this point -- especially during the summer.  So I'm not too worried.  They just look ugly and feel weird.