Fifteen years is a long time. And in fifteen years, you will learn a lot. Unfortunately, real life isn't like some episode of Quantum Leap or like the very awesome movies 13 Going on 30 (make sure you see this movie... it'll be one of your favorites) and Click. So you'll never read this at age 18. But if you could, here's what I'd tell you:
1. You're gorgeous. You know that Sunscreen Song, and how it states that, years from now, you'll look back at photos of yourself and realize how fabulous you really looked? Well, it's true. I know you don't think it right now, but you are beautiful. Yes, I know you have insecurities about your body. But pretty much everyone around you does, too. They are just different insecurities. Yes, I know you feel like you don't look "normal." But what is normal, anyway? You are not the only one of 3 billion women who has the issues you dislike about yourself. Yes, I know you think no guy will ever find you attractive or want to marry you, based on looks alone. But you wouldn't want someone to want you based solely on looks anyway. And don't worry. You'll get married. And there will be guys who think you are beautiful. Some will tell you, but others will tell other people who will tell you. There probably are guys right now who think you are beautiful, you just don't know it. So please try to recognize how beautiful you really are. Because you will look back at photos of yourself in the years ahead, and you will realize that, while right now you think you are ugly, you are anything but. And you will wish you'd have realized how fabulous you really looked :).
2. The Gospel is true. It would behoove you to find that out for yourself now, rather than later. But even if you don't, just know that you will one day find a reason to know for yourself. And you will get your answer. And from that answer will spring some of your greatest heart-aches. But it will also bring forth your greatest joys. It will provide you with direction and assurance. So keep the faith, even when it's hard.
3. Don't be afraid to love. This, of course, means you will open yourself up to hurt. But love is beautiful. And to avoid it for fear of being hurt would be a tragic loss. You will lose more by not loving than you ever will by loving. But, in your desire to love... Don't allow yourself to be mistreated.
4. Appreciate your parents. It is the natural course of things (well, at least it still generally is when you are now) for teenagers to clash with their parents. Apparently science and psychology say it's because that will help you want to move out one day and be independent. So it's normal that they annoy you from time to time. And it's normal that you don't always want to do the things they want you to do. But recognize they only want what's best for you. Because they love you in a way you can't fully comprehend right now. They have sacrificed and still sacrifice for you in ways of which you are not yet fully aware. But trust me, one day you will know. One day you will understand. One day you will see that they are people just like you. That they have their ups and their downs. Just like you. And they are trying their best to live life and balance all their responsibilities the best way they know how just like you are. They make mistakes just like you do. But they love you. More than you really know right now. So love them. Appreciate them. Listen to them (they know more than you think). And tell them thank you. Because it will mean more to them than you know, right now. And trust me that one day, you will understand.
5. Repentance is real. You make mistakes. You've made mistakes. But Heavenly Father knew we all would. And so, He sent His Son. He did it because He loves you. Just as your earthly parents do -- only more so. The opportunity to change is real -- and the power to change is within you. Don't let them fade away as though they don't exist. Because it feels so good to be clean.
6. It doesn't really matter who you are in high school. You've never been in the popular crowd. And that's okay. You never really yearned to be there, but I think you put more concern on how others view you than is really necessary. (And, even though I've learned this lesson about high school, maybe I'm still working on learning it about all of life.) The truth is, you will move on with life -- and so will they. And it won't really matter who you are now, as far as cliques go. You will share a common past with people, and that link will become stronger than how popular you are. And you will find that those who everyone thought would be most successful may not be. And then there will be those who will surprise you. And you will discover, when the opportunity arises to connect up with people from your past, that -- for the most part -- we are all just people, trying to get along in this life. And whether or not we were popular in high school won't really matter, in the end.
7. You are strong. You will face challenges you can't even begin to imagine right now. But you'll make it through. Even when you feel like the world is crumbling, you will keep going. So believe in yourself.
8. Be kind, learn patience, be forgiving, and be more generous. Everyone around you has struggles, just like you do. You will find it easy to think judgmental thoughts. But try to overcome that. Learn to be patient. Do I sound like our mother? Well, turns out she is right... Patience is a virtue. And you'll need it in the years ahead. Better to develop it now... Because, even if you don't, you'll have plenty of opportunities to do so. Forgive others. We've all made mistakes. And you always hope others will forgive you. So be willing to forgive them, too. And be more generous. It's easy to be very self-centered and focus on yourself. But you have been blessed with a lot. And that will continue to be true. So be generous -- in word, in deed, and in thought.
It's just advice, of course. Do with it as you will. But you should trust me... After all, I've been where you are... and I've been where you're going.
And, though in all reality, I know you won't read this at 18... And I know I can't advise my younger self no matter how much I wish I could... I know there will be people I can share this wisdom with. One special one in particular. So here's to hoping I remember to do so -- all along the way.
Love,
An Older, but hopefully wiser, you.
8 years ago
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