One Month

My Precious Lynnaea,

It's hard for me to believe it, but you are one month old today.  This past month has been quite the adventure -- for you, me, and Daddy!  It's not always been easy.  Like the sleepless (or mostly sleepless) nights.  The trying to figure out why you're crying.  The attempts to create our "new normal."  Trying to convince you that when it's dark outside you're supposed to sleep ;).  Trying to convince you that the world will still be here when you wake up when you try to fight the sleep.  But then I see you look at me and open your mouth really big and start squinting your eyes  and I know you're working on "real" smiles...  And I tear up, because I know it's all worth it.  I know you're worth every sacrifice.

You provide entertainment for Daddy and me.  And maybe we shouldn't laugh about it, but you sure are tootie!  You are the gassiest baby I've ever known!  I usually warn people who haven't held you before that you might toot.  And you usually do ;).  And that's okay.  You'd be miserable if you didn't!  Of course, years from now, you'll really appreciate that I shared this detail about you on the internet.  But trust me, nobody cares when babies toot :).  Daddy likes to spend time with you doing your "exercise" routine.  He helps you "jog" and move your arms up and down and in and out.  You like it.  Sometimes when you've been fussy, he'll pick you up and start your exercises and you calm down and just stare at him.  

You're teaching me so much, Lynnaea.  You're teaching me patience.  You're helping me to see where I need to improve so I can hopefully become the mother I want to be.  You've helped me be more selfless.  I sometimes think I have learned more this past month than you have!

But you have learned a lot too.  You know how to focus on faces.  I love it when you look at me so intently.  I think you're adorable when you lift your head to look at the world around you.  Your neck muscles are very strong and you do a great job balancing and supporting your head.  And you even do well with tracking objects -- especially noisy ones!  You've also grown a lot.  Daddy did an estimate measurement of you yesterday, and it looks like you've grown about an inch since you were born!  And you are certainly gaining weight!  You weigh 10 pounds now, and you are getting all nice and "baby chunky" :).  It's adorable.  Your cheeks are cute and pudgy.  Of course, we know you will slim down when you get more active in the months ahead.  So we are glad you can store up some energy for the future.  And, you've officially outgrown all your newborn outfits.  It was a bittersweet realization.  The time goes so fast.  It's why I take the extra time to hold you and snuggle you.  It's why I often let you sleep on me for your whole nap, even though I have chores to do.  And you know what?  I somehow managed to join the club of weepers when it comes to things like contemplating you and how fast you're growing.  I was just talking to your grandma about it the other day and, as I quoted her the poem below, I started crying (and so did Grandma).  And then I laughed because I remember when me and your aunt and uncle used to laugh at Grandma for crying at commercials and such.  And now, I fear, I'm in that club!  And here, my sweet girl, is the poem by Ruth Hulbert Hamilton:

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

You're in my arms right now, sweet baby.  I've rocked you to sleep.  You're my beautiful little girl, and I feel so blessed.  Thank you for letting me be your mommy.  Thank you for making me a mommy.  And thank you for already forgiving me a million times for the mistakes I've already made.  I love you, sweet Lynnaea.  I've waited so long for you, and now you're here.  I'm sure we have many more adventures ahead :).

Love,

Mommy

Lynnaea at 1 month old.