The Trials We are Not Called to Endure

I think too much sometimes.  Usually when I should be sleeping, and I'm lying awake in bed, knowing I need to sleep, but unable to do so.

Lately, my mind has turned to the subject of trials.  The trials we are called upon to endure.  And those we are not.  And why.

We live in a fallen world.  There is sadness and pain, difficulties and challenges.  The fact that we will all face trials remains.  And so we will all, at some point or another; to one degree or another, experience the sadness and pain, the difficulties and challenges.  But will also know joy.  And growth.  Learning.  Hope. 

But why the trials which we each individually face?  What is it about our particular trials that are so important for us to go through.  That is the thought I'd considered often as of late. 

I look at my own trials.  Those I've faced so far.  They have been hard.  Some I would even describe as excruciating and heart-breaking. 

I look at the trials others face and think I could not endure what they have been asked to endure. 

And I wonder:  why were they called to endure it, while I was not? 

I know it is because whatever I am to learn will come through the trials I have been and will be called upon to endure.  But some trials I've not been given -- which have been given to another -- well, honestly, it breaks my heart for them to have to endure it.  And perhaps others feel the same as they look upon me and my trials.

I have heard a quote that says something to the effect of:  If we all put our trials into a bag and had to pick out new ones... If we saw the trials others had to face, we'd be anxious to pick our own back out.  It is an interesting thought.  And I think, perhaps, it is because -- though we may not realize it -- we've already been equipped to deal with the trials and challenges we are given.  Our trials are uniquely ours, and the lessons we will gain will be so too.

Now, none of this is to say that we must do it alone.  I firmly believe in a Savior.  I believe He performed the Atonement for me.  I believe he knows how I feel.  And I believe He will help me through any trial.  In fact, I know it.  For I have felt it.  I heard a song for the first time recently.  The Primary children at church sang it as part of their Primary Program this past Sunday.  It is what one of my friends calls a "goosebump" song.  I have come to identify that feeling with the Spirit testifying to me of truth.  The song applies here.  It's beautiful, and you can listen to it here.

Anyway, those are just random (and quite badly written) musings of a tired mommy brain.

Corbin -- 4 Months

My Sweet Corbin-roo,

I've come up with a new nickname for you, in case you didn't know ;).  I don't know why, but Corbin-roo has stuck.  I like it, though.  It's cute.  Just like you.

You're 4 months old, my happy baby boy.  And you are happy most of the time.  You give the sweetest, biggest, happiest smiles, especially when people talk to you.  Your little face just lights up with that awesome smile of yours.  Your two cute little dimples come popping out (or in ;)), and it is just the best! You are super-ticklish!  From your feet to your sides to your chin, you are ticklish!  You laugh so happily when I tickle you, and from these experiences, you've learned about anticipation! 

You have spent most of the month cooing in various pitches (the high-pitched one is so adorable!), but in the last couple days, you discovered you can also scream (both happily and unhappily), so you've been doing it more and more!  I love the happy squeals and screams.  The unhappy ones, well... I could do without those.  But I'm so glad you're learning your voice abilities!

You are grabbing onto things a lot now.  You see things and can make a concerted effort (usually a successful one, if the object is within reach) to grab them.  Your grip is strong.  But then, so is almost everything about you, my big boy!  At 4 months, you're over 18 pounds.  However, you're a bit on the short side ;).  But I'm betting you'll go through a growth spurt one of these days and sprout!  Your legs are very strong and you are ready to stand!  Don't worry, the rest of your body will catch up one day, and stand you will!  You do a pretty good job of holding your bottle already, so that's awesome :).  You've been working on sitting up, with the help of the boppy.  But you have a while to go yet.  You enjoy the exersaucer a lot and the jumper chair.  Which is nice, because it means you don't want to be held all the time anymore.  You actually really like tummy time, and you can even lift your belly up off the floor for a bit when you get really excited!

You watch us very intently when we eat.  You watch the food as we pick it up and eat it.  I think you're ready to try eating something other than breastmilk and formula!  No worries, it's coming.

One thing you don't like is your car seat.  Oh my heavens, little Corbin-roo.  You do okay for about 15 minutes.  And then you're done.  And boy golly does Mommy hear about it.  All. the. way. home.  (or wherever we are going.) When you really get going, it breaks my mommy heart.  I don't like hearing your high-pitched sad cry.

You're still sleeping in the little bed-side crib in Mommy and Daddy's room, because you still aren't sleeping through the night.  You're consistently inconsistent at night, in fact ;).  You will usually sleep a good 4 or 5 hour stretch (and sometimes, on a rare but blessed occasion, you'll even do 7!), and then you'll do 3 and then 1 or 2.  But during the day, you keep to a 3-hour schedule and take 3 naps every day.

I think you'll be my little homebody.  Whereas your big sister is our adventurer who is always ready to go go go, I think you prefer to be home, sticking to the routine.  It's been amazing to learn you, my sweet Corbin boy.  To watch your personality emerge.

You are a joy, my sweet little man.  I love you so much more than words can say.  Thank you for bringing such happiness to my life.  For teaching me how to parent in a new way -- and how to love even more!  I'm looking forward to the new adventures that are sure to come with you my wonderful baby boy!

All my love always,

Mommy

Just Our Everyday Life

I know I have gotten terrible at updating this blog.  But I've discovered that I just need to accept that, because there's not much I can do about it.  My priorities are elsewhere these days.  Unfortunately, I'm also not journaling as much as I should...  But seriously, my time is gone so fast!  I'm sure many of you understand completely.  It's just one of those things you don't get until you do.  I'd never have believed how busy it can be to be an at-home-mom.  Anyone who believes we sit on our bottoms enjoying bon-bons is crazy.

That said...  Let's see what kind of photos I can upload to prove that we are still alive and still doing our thing.

(P.s...  Jeremy is on graveyard shift again.  We've gotten through 2 weeks of it and have one left.  I really really really do not enjoy this shift.  Like at all.  One of his co-workers had the nerve to ask if he wanted to trade and keep graves for another month.  I told him he could blame his wife for the answer being NO!)

And so, to some pictures!

Corbin loves the mirror.  It's super cute. 

We have been working hard to have weekly Family Home Evenings, because we believe doing so will bless our family.  You can learn more about what Family Home Evening is all about by following this link.  Anyway, as I mentioned in the previous post, Lynnaea is copying so much of what we (her parents) say.  And some of it just sounds awful coming out of a 2 year old's mouth.  We don't choose to use swear words in our home, which is probably a good thing, since she would repeat them.  But even so, there are still things we say that aren't super nice-sounding.  Like "stupid garbage."  Which she has said.  Also, she is going through the whole "NOOOO!" phase.  So, we did a Family Home Evening on nice words (those around the happy face) and not so nice words (those around the sad face).  We based some of our lesson (and Jeremy and I read over this to even help us) on the talk by Elder Holland called "The Tongue of Angels."  It's an amazing talk.  This lesson came together perfectly for our family, and I know it was inspired by the Spirit.  It's hard to be a mother, and I want what's best for my kids.  I'm not an idea person, so for this to work so well together (and we had "Angel Kisses" (meringue cookies) for treat :)) makes me know the Lord knows my heart and my good desires for my family.  He will bless me as I strive to do what is best and right in raising my sweet babies.  After all, they are His beloved children too.  Parenthood is going to help me become a better person, that's for sure.  Because I have to fix my own way of talking in order to instill it in my children!

Anyway, so that's what that picture is about.

The kids both love hearing stories at bed-time.  Lynnaea requested that Daddy read stories on that particular night.  Seriously, even Corbin loves to watch the pictures on the pages!  I love that quote that "Children become readers on the laps of their parents."  This picture depicts it so well!

Corbin is working on sitting up.  He still has a ways to go, but he has a great example in Lynnaea!  I keep telling her he will want to be just like her!  She is his example!

Love this sweet face!  And those cheeks!!!  He still has blue eyes, too.

He may be starting to teethe.  He wants to chew on everything!

Well, go I must.  Corbin just woke up from his nap, and typing is now a challenge ;).

Just Like Mommy

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:  motherhood is quite the teacher.

As my sweet Lynnaea grows, I am learning more and more how much of a "sponge" she really is.  She soaks up everything. 

Sometimes I am horrified when she does or says things that I recognize as something I do or say -- and which she has chosen to copy.  Like when she starts saying "I don't care."

I'm working on removing that phrase from my vocabulary.

But there are other times I watch her and see her do or say things that she got from me.  And it melts my heart, because she's so cute.  And gives me hope that not all the things I do which she copies are bad... ;).

One of those things is pictured below, twice...

This one was a couple weeks ago:

This one was this morning:

 In the first picture, she is "nursing" her flamingo while eating dinner.  In the second, she is "nursing" her bunny while reading...  The only thing that sticks out on her torso is her belly button, ergo she thinks that's where she nurses.  I have nursed at the dinner table and while reading...  And so, she copies me. 

It's a good reminder for me to watch what I say and do.  I want to be a good example for my sweet, precious girl.  I love her so much.  Even when puts her brother in girlie stuff ;)...

Poor Corbin!  This is just the beginning ;).

Corbin -- 3 Months (and one day)

My Dear Sweet Corbin,

You are three months old!  Plus a day.  Because one thing Mommy has learned about being a mommy of two is that we are late for everything!  But I've learned to accept that.

Oh my Corbin!  You are growing!  You are our sweet little chunky monkey!  You have nice little chubby thighs and more than your share of chins :).  But we love it!  We firmly believe chubby babies are healthy babies!  You'll need all that stored energy for later when you start moving and grooving!  And trying to keep up with your sister!  You've been in 3 to 6 month clothes since about 2 months...  So there's definitely nothing small about you! 

You still have blue eyes.  I think you'll keep them.  You also have red tints in your hair.  So cute!  Lots of people comment about it.  You get those two things from your daddy, by the way.  You're also our sensitive little guy.  You startle easily and you do not like loud noises.  I'm pretty sure you're going to be my clingy baby, and I'm actually looking forward to it a bit (your sister tends to wander away from me, because she is an adventurer... so it'll be nice to know you'll stick with Mommy :)).  You love to be held, but you're getting better about being put down on the play mat and looking at the birdie and other colorful things. 

You've pretty well managed to get onto a 3-hour routine in the daytime.  You wake up and eat, then you "play" and then you nap.  Then we repeat :).  At night, you sleep a minimum of 4 hours for the first stretch, but the last two nights you've done 6!  And I'm good with that :).  It means Mommy gets more sleep too :).  We're hoping you'll sleep even longer before too long, but we're trying to just go with the flow and let you learn at your own pace.  And even though you aren't yet sleeping through the night, one thing that has always been true about you is that you understand night-time is for sleeping.  You wake up to eat and go right back down.  Mommy doesn't have to wait for you to be in a deep sleep before she can lay you down.  And even for nap-time, you just have to close your eyes while on my shoulder and then I can put you down for your nap.  That's all it takes.  You are amazing!

You are such a sweet boy, Corbin.  You have the sweetest and most adorable dimpled smile (which you will see below).  You love love love attention and will smile hugely at anyone who talks to you (especially when you're in a good mood and not tired).  You're starting to laugh now, and it's awesome!  You also coo a lot and you get super excited sometimes about things.  You are a strong baby boy, Corbin.  I'm fully expecting you to roll over sooner than later.  You already know how to scoot yourself, whether you're on your tummy or on your back!  You love to be held in a standing position, and I think you know that there are things you'll be able to do one day and you want to do them now!  You'll get there. 

You're also very alert!  Several people have commented on that fact.  And I watch you look at me -- and I know you know I'm you're Mommy.  You stare at me so intently sometimes and watch all my movements when I'm not holding you.  It's pretty amazing to watch you observe me -- and the world around you.  I can already see that you are a smart little boy.

Corbin, I love you.  I love you so very much.  Something I've learned from mommy-hood is that I lack the words to express the love I feel for you both you and your sister.  But it is there.  And I hope that you always know it.  That you always feel it.  You are my precious boy.  And I'm so grateful that you are.  You are teaching me, just like your big sister did.  You are helping me be better, just as she is.  I hope I can be the mommy you both deserve.  Happy 3 months, my little guy.  Here's to a month of new milestones and adventures!

Love,

Mommy

Love these pictures of him!!!

Oh How the Time Flies

Yeah, it's been almost a month since I last posted!  Crazy!  And that means Corbin is almost 3 months old and I'll be posting his 3-month blog post.  Ergo, I wanted to get in a quick one that wasn't his monthly post :).

Life is busy with 2 kids.  Really, really busy.  And, as Corbin is not sleeping through the night yet, I go to bed with the chickens (9 at the latest), so I can maximize my sleep!  It makes me feel like an old lady...  But sleep is important for a happy mommy, so ya just gotta do what ya gotta do.

This girl has style :).

Taking shadow pictures while waiying for Daddy to get home from work one Monday.

The first time Corbin sat in his Bumbo chair and didn't scream with indignation...  And Lynnaea thinks pacifiers are toys ever since Corbin came home.

Corbin likes the play mat these days.  But he likes the picture-taker even more (Mommy)!

At the end of the day...  Just before I laid him down for the night.

Well, that's all, folks.  I have plenty to say, but life is busy.  So this will have to suffice :).

Oh, and P.S...   If you haven't heard, we're Alabama Bound again in a couple months!  Yay!!  Though traveling with Corbin may send us to an early grave :/...

Corbin -- 2 Months

My Dear, Sweet Corbin,

You actually turned 2 months yesterday.  But since we also had your well-baby check (and you got 3 shots!), we had a rough afternoon and I was lucky to get some pictures of you on your 2nd month-day in which you weren't screaming in pain or misery.  So I decided it was better to write this later :). 

Oh sweet Corbin.  You are my precious boy.  We have ups and downs.  You are a true "hold me" baby.  You always want to be held.  Sometimes that makes things very hard for Mommy.  But we figure it out.  And, actually, you are getting more and more okay with resting in your papasan chair while I work on daily chores.  I know it is because you are developing more and able to enjoy the world around you more as you focus on things and observe from your low vantage point.  I wonder what things must look like to you ;).

Oh you are smiling more and more each day!  It is the best!  Your dimples are simply adorable, and every lady who sees them just melts about how cute you are!  You are your happiest in the mornings.  You also are very happy when Lynnaea pays special attention to you.  Sometimes it seems like she's trying to squeeze your guts out when she hugs you...  But you don't seem to mind.  You smile away!  I tell her that she is going to be one of your very favorite people.  But think I may be wrong...  I think she already is.

We have transitioned you to your bed-side crib over the last couple weeks.  You've taken to it like a champ.  Sometimes I miss sleeping with you in the recliner though.  The truth is, sometimes I wish it was just you and I so I could sit and hold you for hours and let you sleep on me.  But...  That's not how it is.  We have our sweet Lynnaea, and she needs love and attention too.  And I wouldn't change that -- and I don't think you would either!  I just know that I wish I had more opportunities to sit and hold you for hours and hours.

You slept for 5 hour stretches two nights last week!  That was exciting for Mommy!  And last night you even slept for 7!  (But that may have just been due to you feeling so yucky after your shots, so I'm not holding you to that ;)).  I think more sleep will benefit us both, so I'm hoping we're moving in that direction for good! 

Of course, you also have had 2 colds (again, courtesy of your sweet sister ;)) in your life.  And one of them has been this past week.  Which means you didn't sleep as well and went back to waking every 3 hours.  So we'll see if things get to where they were as far as sleeping once you're completely over this mess!

And just so you know...  We can already tell you're going to have some red tints in your hair.  And I'm starting to believe you're going to keep those sweet blue eyes :).  And you are a big boy!  We learned you are 15 pounds 3 ounces at your well-baby check-up!  So you are our chunky monkey!  But you're perfect, little Corbin man.  You are perfect to me.  I love you so very much, my sweet boy.  And I always will.

Love Always,

Mommy